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M E M I R 



WILLIAM It. FALES, 



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"Behold I have refined thee, but not with silver ; I have chosen 
thee in the furnace of afiliction. 

"For mine own sake, even for mine own sake, will I do it, and 
I will not give my glory to another." 

Isaiah xlviii. 10, 11. 




PHILADELPHIA: 

LINDSAY & BLAKISTON. 

1851. 



J3"Rl7ZiT 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1850, 

BY LINDSAY AND BLAKISTON, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Eastern District 
of PennsylTania. 



PHILADELPHIA: 
C. SHERMAN, PRINTER. 






INTRODUCTION. 



In preparing for the public eye the Memoir 
of William R. Tales, there has been no de- 
sign to exhibit human nature in any other 
light than that of a frail, dependent creature, 
— a worm of the dust, — though mercifully 
endowed with a spirit, struggling for immor- 
tality and eternal life. And since it hath 
been consistent with the will of an All-wise 
Providence to enable this interesting sufferer, 
in so remarkable a manner, to tell his good- 
ness and to sing his praise, may we not glean 
from the memorandums of his feeble pencil 
the teaching lessons of a Father's love, 
tracing throughout the power of faith, the 



Xll INTRODUCTION. 

need of patience, and the worth of prayer. 
Grace made him what he was ; and whilst 
we behold him in his lonely pilgrimage pro- 
claiming the mercies of Redeeming Love, we 
are forcibly reminded of the language, " The 
wilderness and the solitary place shall be 
glad for them, and the desert shall rejoice 
and blossom as the rose." 

S. H. L. 

Philadelphia, 12 month, 1850. 



MEMOIR. 



It was in the summer of 1848, that the 
compiler of the following memorandums, in 
company with several others made a visit 
to the Portsmouth Almshouse. Beautifully 
situated upon Narragansett Bay, about eight 
miles from Newport, Rhode Island, was this 
humble abode of the blind, the aged, and the 
crippled poor. It was here that we first 
became acquainted with the subject of this 
memoir — "William R. Fales. It was here, 
that this child of sorrow had found a shelter 
under the wing of public bounty. Day 
after day, month after month, and year 
after year, had swelled the catalogue of his 
griefs, till on his pallid face and shrunken 
2 



14 



form was stamped the image of protracted 
suffering. A season of darkness had o'er- 
shadowed his mental horizon, and given a 
tone of pensive interest to the features of 
this afflicted youth. Well, then, might the 
stranger pause beside his humble couch, and 
listen to the touching tale of one on whom 
affliction's hand was resting heavily. The 
victim of disease from early childhood ; life, to 
him, had been a thorny way ; his cup of bitter- 
ness was well-nigh full; but He, who can 
make hard things easy, and bitter things 
sweet, had been marvellously at work in this 
secluded chamber. For many years had this 
emaciated sufferer been confined chiefly to 
his bed, without the power of moving his 
distorted limbs, or even raising his own head. 
His feeble hands alone could serve him, and 
these were so contracted, that the fingers 
nearly touched his wrist. Thus wearily had 
he languished — thus lived dependent upon 
the care of others; and his twenty-eighth 
year still found him an object of helplessness, 
a picture of physical deformity; a picture, 
which, whilst enlisting our sympathies, pre- 



MEMOIR. 15 

sented to view a character of no ordinary 
stamp, In adverting to his bodily infirmi- 
ties, deprived as he was of many outward 
blessings, he very gratefully enumerated his 
mercies ; said that he had his eyesight and 
his reason, and he often thought how much 
worse he might possibly be, for now he could 
read of God, and meditate upon his works : 
and when interrogated what he most needed 
to render his situation more comfortable, he 
humbly declined mentioning any particular 
thing ; but when assured that it would be a, 
pleasure to administer to his relief, he very 
modestly replied, "You know we all have 
our carnal desires, and I may own that I 
once saw a book which I thought, if it ever 
was in my power, I should like to possess, 
which was 'Baxter's Saint's Rest.'" This 
was all he named — this was what his spirit 
longed for, The Saint's Rest. It, however, 
opened the way for further conversation, and 
we found upon inquiry that he was fond of read- 
ing, though his little library consisted prin- 
cipally of a Bible, a hymn book, and Thomas 
a Kempis, which, with one or two periodicals, 



16 MEMOIR. 

were lying beside him on the table. One of 
these papers, "The American Messenger," 
particularly attracted our notice, the margin 
thereof being covered with the traces of his 
pencil ; and upon our asking why he wrote 
upon newspaper, he said that he had no 
other, and that he sometimes resorted to this 
method of assisting his memory. The pro- 
mise of a blank book and writing materials? 
seemed grateful to him ; and the following 
memorandums have been copied from that 
well-filled volume, which, with the letters to a 
friend in Philadelphia form the materials for 
this Memoir. The phraseology is his own. 
His spelling is mostly correct, and his hand- 
writing, though somewhat cramped, is quite 
legible. 

Further comment seems unnecessary ; they 
tell their own simple history, being the un- 
garnished productions of an afflicted youth ; 
one who, though debarred the privileges of 
refined society, and with very limited oppor- 
tunities for improvement, possessed a mind 
capacitated for the enjoyment of intellec- 
tual pursuits, and a heart that could appre- 



17 



ciate the blessings of friendship. Sensitive, 
though unrepining, he keenly felt the priva- 
tions of his allotment, and though unpitied 
and alone, without the soothing voice of 
sympathy to cheer his onward way, the 
hymn of gratitude and song of praise com- 
mingled with his waking thoughts, and kept 
him at the gate of prayer. Need we then 
marvel that the proffered aid of strangers 
should waken thoughts too big for utterance ? 
Let this then be an apology for the exube- 
rance of a full heart — a heart but rarely 
tempted by kindliness to the disclosure of his 
necessities. But to those who felt that his 
solitary chamber was as " a Bethel here be- 
low;" that there he agonized, there wres- 
tled for the Lord's sustaining power ; it has 
been a source of comfort to believe, that his 
last days on earth, were measurably bright- 
ened, and the tedium of sickness relieved by 
pleasing and profitable employment ; an em- 
ployment, which, as it opened into a new exis- 
tence, enabled this chastened one " to tell 
unto others what the Lord had done for his 
soul." Long disciplined in sorrow's school, 
2* 



18 MEMOIR. 

he had learned to confide in the counsels of 
Infinite Wisdom, and could of a truth say? 
'* In the multitude of the sorrows I had in 
my heart, thy comforts, Lord, refreshed 
my soul." And if any tried sufferer, any 
depressed spirit, should thereby be encou- 
raged to put their trust in the same Almighty 
Helper, and wait, as did this poor cripple, 
patiently and prayerfully all the days of their 
permitted refinement until their change come, 
then, indeed, may it be said that the sub- 
ject of this Memoir hath not lived in vain. 



AUTOBIOGKAPHY. 



Without any view to its publication, the 
following Autobiography was obtained in the 
autumn of 1848, at the request of the com- 
piler, whose increased interest in the situa- 
tion of W. R. Fales awakened the desire to 
know something of the vicissitudes through 
which the hand of Providence had guided, 
and thus far brought the sufferer on his 
way. 

I was born October the 9th, 1820, in 
Portsmouth, Rhode Island. My mother was 
one of a family of thirteen children, and her 
father, being in limited circumstances, she 
was obliged at an early age to leave home, 



20 AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 

in order to procure the means of her own 
living. For a while she obtained employ- 
ment in the neighbouring families, after 
which she removed to a greater distance, 
and commenced working in a cotton factory. 
Here she became acquainted with a man by 
the name of Nathaniel Fales ; they soon be- 
came mutually attached to each other, and 
were subsequently married, and alas, it is / 
who am the unfortunate offspring of that un- 
happy union ; and it is he that I am doomed 
to call my father, though to my recollection 
I never saw him but once, and that was when 
about eleven years old. For the first five 
years of my life I was permitted to remain 
with my grandparents, after which my mo- 
ther took me to live with an aunt in Somer- 
set, Massachusetts, who was the wife of a 
respectable farmer. Here I was kindly re- 
ceived, and lived very comfortably, without 
anything occurring to interrupt my happi- 
ness, until a little more than six and a half 
years of age, when my series of sore afflic- 
tions commenced. Yes, on one fine after- 
noon in April, I was sent on an errand with 



AUTOBIOGKAPHY. 21 

another boy older than myself, and on our 
return home we stopped by the wayside, 
and, not considering the consequences, we 
incautiously stripped off our clothes, and 
went into a pond to bathe. While thus en- 
gaged, we espied a carriage approaching, 
and strove to get dressed before we should 
be seen, but in the haste my shirt fell into 
the water and got wet, yet I put it on, and 
went home. Being so young, we did not 
know that we had endangered our health by 
this adventure, therefore said nothing about 
it until it was too late ; for that same even- 
ning I was attacked with chilliness, and con- 
tinued to grow worse, until I was unable 
to stand upon my feet. A physician was 
called, who pronounced my disease to be in- 
flammatory rheumatism, or the effects of sud- 
den cold. Well, then I had to go through 
a long course of bleeding, blistering, and 
physic, and, as nearly as I can recollect, I 
began to recover in about fifteen months. 
Yet I never fully recovered, but was ever 
afterwards in a very precarious state of 
health, and, though part of the time I was 



22 AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 

able to do some work, yet whenever I took 
cold I was subject to severe fits of sickness, 
and thus my time passed away until I had 
commenced my fifteenth year, when my mo- 
ther, having again married, and being about 
to remove with her husband to Pennsylvania, 
concluded to take me with them, hoping, by 
a change of climate, I might become more 
healthy, and assist them in working their 
farm. Accordingly, in November 1834, they 
took me from my good home in Massachu- 
setts, and carried me to Rutland, Pennsyl- 
vania, and in the following spring we began 
vigorously to cultivate our land, but by 
being much exposed to the cold, I soon be- 
gan to feel more unwell, yet continued to 
work day after day, until my limbs became 
so swollen and painful, that it was difficult 
for me to stand or go ; and when a doctor 
was sent for he appeared to know little about 
my disease, and after a few visits left me 
uncured, for the disorder had made such 
insidious inroads throughout my whole sys- 
tem, as entirely to baffle his skill. How- 
ever, towards the latter part of September, 



AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 23 

I so far recovered as to stand on my feet, 
and walk about considerably ; yet being ex- 
posed during the inclement weather, I was, 
in the following February, so much worse as 
to be obliged to take to my bed, from which 
I never more expect to arise. 

Ah yes ! February 1836, was the last time 
I ever stood upon my poor feet, and March 
1840 the last time I ever sat up in a chair. 
Year after year passed away, during which 
my afflictions were various and unbounded, 
till at length, through the mysterious work- 
ings of Providence, the way opened for me to 
be removed to this place in June 1846. I 
evidently enjoyed the most privileges, or 
was the most favoured, during the period in 
which I was comfortably situated under the 
hospitable roof of my kind friends in Somer- 
set, Massachusetts. There I was plenti- 
fully supplied with suitable food and cloth- 
ing, and received good attendance when I 
was sick, and there too, when the state of 
my health would admit of it, I was allowed 
to attend the district school, much of the 
time intervening between my ninth and four- 



24 AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 

teenth years. Putting it all together, I may 
have received about three years' schooling. 
Moreover, I was the. permitted to keep a 
few sheep and hens, chiefly for my own 
benefit, and many a time J i have L artily 
wished it could have been my lot to c ^ntinue 
in that happy family. But alas ! it was not 
so to be — for adventurously I expressed a 
wish to accompany my parents to Pennsyl- 
vania, where I was doomed to experience a 
sad contrast, many of the trying scenes 
through which I had to pass having made an 
awful impression upon my mind ; and though 
the retrospect causes me to shudder, yet I 
believe it is good for me that I have been 
afflicted, because I have found affliction to be 
one of the best schoolmasters; and I have 
learned those lessons in sickness and adver- 
sity, which, perhaps, I never should have 
learned in any other way. Thus twenty- 
eight years of my miserable existence have 
passed away, and in looking back at them, 
it is evident that more than twenty-one of 
those years have been one unbroken chain of 
afflictions; and though my experience has 



AUTOBIOGKAPHY. 25 

continually been of the bitterest kind, and 
attended with many melancholy circum- 
stances, yet I will no- -(describe the thorny 
way and trying manner by which I was led 
to rep unce worldly vanities, and seek an 
interest-in Christ. 

It was in the autumn of 1836, while I 
was lying sorely afflicted on my sick-bed, 
nearly ready to despair of ever regaining my 
health, or .finding any more rest or comfort 
upon earth ; yes ! it was when I was friend- 
less and wholly incapacitated for the enjoy- 
ments of life, that I, for the first time, felt 
inclined to withdraw my heart from the love 
of things that are seen, and turn it toward 
the things that are not seen. Accordingly, 
my attention was directed to a little, old 
Bible, which my mother had bought when 
she was young. Well, as I was saying, I 
began to peruse this old Bible, but still con- 
tinued to feel very disconsolate. I was 
weary of life, yet fearful of death. At 
this time my mother was taken unwell, and 
sent for some of the neighbouring women 
to attend her, and one of them, not being 



26 AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 

long in the place, was much of a stranger to 
us. She, however, came to mj bedside, and 
seeing that I was labouring under discou- 
ragement of both body and mind, she spoke 
a few comforting words to me, and was in- 
strumental in persuading me to seek the aid 
of that Almighty Helper, who was able and 
willing to do for me more than I could either 
ask or think. In a word, she bid me seek 
the Lord's assistance by earnest prayer ; and 
seeing there was no help nor confidence to 
be found in man, I began to do as she di- 
rected me, and from that time to this have 
never repented my choice. For I have had 
many proofs of His great goodness and 
power, and though, from time to time, my 
faith hath but just glimmered, and my soul 
been much dejected, yet praised be His holy 
name, He has never wholly suffered me to 
relinquish all hopes of obtaining a share in 
"that rest which remaineth for the people 
of God." 

W. It. Fales. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 



July, 1848. — For some months past, mj 
mind has been deeply exercised and sorely 
depressed by the consideration of my help- 
lessness, and utter inability to procure such 
temporal assistance as I was desirous of 
having, and which it seemed that I needed. 
Likewise, I have had a deep sense of my 
own unworthiness and fallibility, and I still 
continue to feel as though I am of no value 
to any one, and am almost ready to think 
that I am living for no good purpose. In- 
deed, I sometimes feel as if no one cared for 
my poor soul, and that I shall come short of 
reaching that glorious place of rest which I 
have hitherto most ardently longed for. 



28 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

July 23d, 1848 Four ministering Friends* 

lately came to the Asylum and held a meeting 
with the poor afflicted inmates, during which 
they very tenderly exhorted us to repent 
and turn unto the Lord. They also gave us 
much instruction, mingled with kind persua- 
sion, solemn warning, and heart-cheering 
encouragement. Truly it was a solemn, yet 
refreshing season. May the words spoken 
be deeply impressed on our hearts, and long 
remembered by us all. Moreover, after they 
had faithfully strove to impress our minds 
with a due sense of our duty to God and 
man, and endeavoured, as much as was in 
their power, to satisfy our spiritual needs, 
they were tenderly mindful of our temporal 
wants, and also administered unto them. 

August 1st, 1848. — Although I feel much 
dejected, and appearances are truly disheart- 
ening, yet, through the mercy of God, I am 
not wholly despondent, neither am I inclined 
to mistrust the power and faithfulness of my 

* One of these ministers was the late Anna A. Jen- 
kins, of Providence, Rhode Island. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 29 

great Provider and Heavenly Benefactor, 
because I believe his power to be unbounded, 
and that He will continue true and faithful 
to fulfil his promises made to the children of 
men. And though the good which I seek is 
long delayed, yet I trust that He, in much 
mercy withholds it, in order that I may feel 
more fully my own insufficiency, and learn 
to look up to Him, depending on his good- 
ness and mercy for all things. Therefore I 
will possess my soul in patience, and not be 
discouraged by the difficulties with which I 
am surrounded, but continue to trust in the 
mercy of God. Yea ! I will humbly wait 
upon Him, with my mind stayed upon his 
divine promises, still hoping for a favourable 
issue to all my difficulties in his good way 
and time. 

August 3d. — My mind continues sorely 
oppressed. My trials are numerous and 
grievous to be borne ; my pain of body alone 
is often very oppressive, besides which, I 
have to endure internal conflicts and out- 
ward distresses ; and what still renders my 
situation the more distressing, is because, for 
3* 



30 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

some days past, I have felt but little of that 
support which I have so often experienced, 
and without which, the lightest afflictions are 
hard to bear. However, I am willing that 
the Lord should thus perfect me in sufferings, 
and hope He will make me meet for Heaven, 
through whatever means He may dispense. 
But oh ! my trials are uncommonly great, 
my burdens are numerous and heavy indeed : 
and I have much to contend with that proves 
trying to me. For though " it requires but 
little effort to depise human consolation, 
when we are possessed of divine, yet it is a 
great thing to bear the want of both," and 
without a single sympathizer, or any self- 
condolence, or the least retrospect of my 
own imaginary worth, I have patiently to 
suffer this desolation of heart. Nevertheless, 
I have not lost my view of immortality and 
eternal life, and, though I am frequently ha- 
rassed and perplexed with doubt and uncer- 
tainty, yet my mind is often deeply engaged 
with eternal things. I often think of the 
joys of my eternal home. I have respect 
unto the recompense of reward in that house 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 31 

above, eternal in the heavens. I think, too, 
of that sweet repose, that heavenly repose, 
that endless repose, which is for ever enjoyed 
by the happy inhabitants of Paradise. And 
I hope my gracious Lord and Almighty 
Helper will not withhold his chastening 
hand, nor his kind support, until I am fully 
purified, and made meet for that blissful 
abode, that glorious, that everlasting repose. 
Then, my sufferings will be over, and my 
sorrows cease, and my rest will be just as 
sweet as though I had never suffered any 
here. Yes, I shall be far beyond the reach 
of sorrow, sickness, pain, and death for ever. 
But oh, this is a time of deep distress ! my 
soul is cast down, and my heart is desolate ; 
troubles increase, and all around me looks so 
dark, that I am filled with anguish and dis- 
may. My spirit is humbled under a sense 
of my imperfections, and the possibility of 
my being shut out of heaven at last. Yet 
my trust is in the tender mercy of my God, 
for He is a sure refuge, and will save such 
as are of an humble spirit. I have no right- 
eousness, no works, no merits of my own to 



32 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

depend upon, but in great poverty of spirit I 
lay, trusting in the righteousness of Christ 
for salvation ; and though my faith is sorely 
tried, yet I continue to pray for overcoming 
grace, and trust that I shall finally be made 
conqueror, through my Saviour's all- van- 
quishing power, and that these afflictions 
will be so sanctified, as to work for me an 
eternal weight of glory. 

August 4th. — Surely I am afflicted above 
measure; my sufferings, both of body and 
mind, are very great. I have had a long 
season of darkness and doubt. My soul is 
plunged in the deepest distress, and I feel 
that I have none to comfort me. Alas ! I 
have found this to be an unfriendly world, 
and hath no durable consolation for me. Oh, 
that the Lord would be pleased to pour out 
of his spirit upon this land, that the people 
would value their time and their health as 
they ought. 0, that He would incline them 
to serve him, that they would strive to pos- 
sess that charity which suffereth long and is 
kind. But I will put my trust in the Lord, 
for He is the friend of the friendless, and 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 33 

the defender of all who put their trust in 
him. I will cry unto him while I live, and 
abide patiently all his will, for He heareth 
the cry of the poor, and despiseth not his 
prisoners. His power alone can sustain and 
soothe me under these heavy trials, and He 
alone can preserve me from evil, and fit my 
soul for heaven. Therefore have I committed 
myself to his care, both for time and for eter- 
nity ; and though He hath seen meet for a 
season to withdraw the light of his counte- 
nance, and leave my soul in distress, yet I 
will not distrust his goodness, for I believe 
He will not suffer me to be tempted above 
what I am able to bear. He is truly the 
same God, now and for ever. He is the 
Father of mercies, and the God of all com- 
fort, and beside him there is no Saviour. 
He will not always chide, nor absent himself 
for ever. " The bruised reed he will not 
break, the smoking flax he will not quench," 
" for he knoweth our frame, he remembereth 
that we are dust." He has promised "all 
things shall work together for good to them 
that love him;" and I believe he hides his 



34 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

face from me in order to prove my confi- 
dence, that I may thus learn to live by faith, 
and to feel more sensibly my dependence 
upon him for every good and perfect gift. 
Therefore will I lay hold upon his precious 
promises, and wait patiently for him. Yea ! 
into his hands I will commit my all, and put 
my trust under the shadow of his wings, 
believing that he will, in due time, arise for 
my help, and save me for his mercy's sake. 

August 5th. — Yesterday I had a very ex- 
traordinary visit of condolence from four 
friends of humanity, which was more than 
acceptable. Indeed, I consider it a most 
timely Gfod-send. After making some inqui- 
ries respecting my singular condition and 
bodily infirmity, one of them, T. W., from 
Ohio, spoke, in a very feeling manner, some 
words of comfort and encouragement to my 
poor, afflicted soul, which tended greatly to 
the removal of a heavy burden from my pre- 
viously-exercised mind. My hope and confi- 
dence is now a little renewed, to my unspeak- 
able comfort. I do not know how to be 
thankful enough for this favour, nor for the 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 35 

many blessings I receive. "Bless the Lord, 
my soul ! and all that is within me, bless 
his holy name." He has been my refuge in 
times of trouble, and hath comforted me with 
such comforts as the world cannot give. He 
hath been better to me than my fears. He 
hath heard my prayers, and sent me timely 
relief, so that I may again say, In the mul- 
titude of the sorrows I had in my heart, thy 
comforts, Lord, refreshed my soul ! 

August 7th. — My friend, Gr. B., has been 
so kind as to send me a good book, entitled 
"Baxter's Saint's Best," and a precious book 
it is. I had long wished to obtain one of the 
kind, hoping that the frequent reading of it 
might prove the means of strengthening my 
faith, and enabling me to withdraw my affec- 
tions from things below, and fix them on 
things above, and, likewise, of creating with- 
in my heart a more earnest desire for the 
enjoyment of a near union and communion 
with the Father, through the Son, and of 
attaching me more closely to Him, who is the 
author of that glorious rest which the Apos- 
tle speaks so cheeringly of, when he says, 



6b MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

" There remaineth, therefore, a rest to the 
people of God." My friend also sent me a 
blank book, some paper, and a pencil, all of 
which I look upon as a blessing from the 
Lord, for which I cannot sufficiently express 
my gratitude. 0, that I had a more thank- 
ful heart ! 

Portsmouth Asylum, August 30th, 1848. 

My dear Friend : 

I received your kind present, and was re- 
joiced to find, beside other articles, your 
good letter, and I do hereby gratefully re- 
turn my sincere thanks therefor. I have 
been more unwell than common for a few 
weeks past, and although it is evident that 
my poor, painful wreck of a body is slowly 
decaying, and my mental powers becoming 
still more impaired, and my afflictions, in 
some way or other, increasing, so that I 
often feel, to complain in the words of the 
Psalmist, "Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, 
and thou hast afflicted me with all thy 
waves," yet I have abundant reason to feel 
thankful for the privileges and comforts 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 37 

which the Lord has, through infinite mercy, 
permitted me to enjoy. I hope, my dear 
friend, that you still continue satisfied with 
the visit you made to this land, for I humbly 
trust your visit to me, unworthy as I am, 
will be like " casting your bread upon the 
waters, which will return after many days." 
Truly, it was as a cordial administered in 
due time ; for bitter experience hath enabled 
me to attest that, if ever a person needs a 
friend (not only an earthly but a heavenly 
friend), it is when he is prostrated on a bed 
of languishing and death. Oh ! then he 
needs a willing hand to support him, and 
kind words to soothe him, and, above all, 
the consolation which only the religion of 
Jesus Christ can impart. And oh, my dear 
friend ! let me entreat you not to be weary 
in well-doing, knowing that in due season 
ye shall reap, if ye faint not. Continue to 
befriend the poor and needy, visit the abode 
of wretchedness, inquire into the wants of 
the sufferer, and minister to them according 
to your ability, not forgetting to speak a 
word of counsel to those who are going 
4 



38 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

astray, and a word of comfort to the de- 
jected ; for it may be as good seed sown in 
their hearts, which, at some future day, may 
bring forth fruit unto salvation ; and, more- 
over, ye know that, by so doing, ye will do 
the work of the Lord. The state of my 
health is at present truly lamentable, and 
even hopeless, and though my circumstances 
are not as carnal nature would have them, 
yet I am persuaded that my Heavenly 
Father will not suffer me to endure one 
pang more than he sees will be requisite in 
the subduing of my fleshly desires, and that 
all the adversities and privations which are 
permitted to befall me here, will, through 
the mysterious workings of his power, even- 
tually prove to be "blessings in disguise." 
Poor old, blind Joseph grows feeble ; he de- 
sires his love to you, and we both wish you 
to pray for us, and hope to meet you in that 
land, where none can say that they are sick. 
With love, your friend, 

Wm. R. Tales. 

September 19th, 1848.— I find Baxter's 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. dV 

Saint's Rest an excellent book, and I take 
much comfort in reading it. It refreshes 
and invigorates my drooping spirits, and 
tends to soothe and encourage my sorrow- 
bound heart. My mind also relishes it as 
food both pleasant and profitable ; and I feel 
prepared to recommend it to all, and espe- 
cially to the afflicted, as a book exceedingly 
■well worthy of an attentive and thorough 
perusal ; for I think that if any will take the 
trouble to read it thoroughly and prayerfully, 
they will, no doubt, find that it contains much 
that is profitable, consoling, and encourag- 
ing. I have been remarkably fond of books 
ever since I learned to read them, and, 
during many years of my life, I read about 
all that came in my way. Many of them 
were very good books, but some were such 
as may rightly be called, very bad books ; 
and it is a matter of sincere regret to me, 
that I did not sooner learn to beware of un- 
profitable books, for it was not until a few 
years ago that I became fully convinced of 
the evils arising from reading novels, and 
other unprofitable works. Since then I 



40 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

have been careful not to read any such as 
have a demoralizing tendency, for I think it 
not only a great waste of time, which in 
itself is a most heinous sin, but is also a 
practice which tends to deprave the morals, 
vitiate the principles, and make life misera- 
ble here ; and a practice which, if continued 
in, will eventually prove the everlasting de- 
struction of the soul. Most of the novels of 
our day are written by worldlings, or men 
whom no wise man would take for patterns 
of virtue ; and no human mind can compute 
the waste of time that has resulted from 
novel-reading. How much then it behooves 
every Christian, every lover of virtue, and 
every well-disposed person, to raise a warn- 
ing voice, and tell the world to beware of 
novels. Their effects upon the mind and 
morals are unhappy and disastrous, because 
they abound in exaggerations of men and 
things, and are apt to fill the mind with a 
false estimate of human life, and its enjoy- 
ments. They present vice and virtue in 
false colours, and abound in immodest, ex- 
travagant, and profane expressions ; engen- 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 41 

der vain desires, nourish vanity, and pave 
the way to the perpetration of many gross 
crimes. They also contain the seeds of 
mammon, or worldly-mindedness, which 
chokes and kills the tender shoots of piety. 
They are the soul's bane, and may well be 
considered as an overwhelming evil, yea, and 
a very curse to the land. Novel-reading is 
a prevailing evil, the current of which it is 
binding upon every lover of piety to resist. 
If there were no buyers, there would be no 
venders. Novelists may be, indeed, num- 
bered amongst Satan's master-workmen, and 
novel-venders may be called his colporteurs, 
and those who willingly spend their time in 
reading and meditating upon their contents, 
to the exclusion or neglect of prayer, or 
other important duties, are to be reckoned 
amongst the devil's most faithful and devoted 
servants. 

And since, at the latter day, every man is 
to be rewarded according to his works, what 
kind of reward shall we suppose will be 
awarded to the authors of bad books — to the 

authors of such books as tend to drown men 
4* 



42 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

in destruction and perdition ? The Scrip- 
tures of Divine Truth declares to us, " That 
whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he reap," 
and that " He that sows to the flesh shall of 
the flesh reap corruption." Yes, bad books 
are seed sown by bad men. None ever be- 
come seriously disposed by reading novels. 
The cause of Christ is never promoted by 
reading them ; none are inclined to worship 
God by reading them ; none are made better 
parents, — better children, — better brothers, 
— better sisters, — better masters, or better 
servants, by reading them. In life they 
help none, in death they soothe none ; but 
the thoughts of them fill many with bitter 
and unavailing regrets. Whosoever drinketh 
in their spirit drinketh corruption, which is 
an abomination unto the Lord. " Oh, that 
men were wise, that they understood this, 
that they would consider their latter end !" 
We are frail yet accountable beings ; life is 
short and very uncertain, for man is com- 
pared to the flower of the field, which cometh 
forth and is cut down ; or like the grass 
which is green for a little season, and then 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 43 

fades suddenly away. Time is given us to 
prepare for eternity. How careful then we 
should be to make a good use of it. How 
diligent we ought to be in preparing for a 
never-ending existence, for "the Son of Man 
cometh in an hour which we think not of." 
Oh ! if people would only consider the great- 
ness of their responsibility, and the necessity 
there is for them to live each day as if it 
were to be the last ; none would be so reckless 
of their well-being as to devote their time to 
useless occupations, or to vain amusements. 
None would be willing to spend their last 
day on earth in contriving, nor in writing, 
nor in reading a novel. Ah ! none would be 
willing that the grim messenger of death 
should find them with a bad book in their 
hands. The great business of life is to act 
well our part here, and prepare for that 
great and solemn change which awaits us. 
Let us then make manifest unto the world 
that we are " labouring to enter into that 
rest which remaineth to the people of God," 
and do all we can in persuading others to 
seek " the pearl of great price." Let us 



44 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

read none but good books, and do all in our 
power towards creating a taste for them in 
others ; considering them as seed dispensed 
by the Great Husbandman to be sown in the 
fields which He marks out to be cultivated 
by the hands of Christian industry. Good 
books are helps to faithfulness, therefore we 
should embrace every opportunity to put 
them in the way of being read ; — many a 
careless sinner has been led hereby to re- 
flection, and to humbly acknowledge and 
adore the goodness and power of God. Many 
by reading a good book have been led to 
seek an interest in Him who hath said, 
"Look unto me and be ye saved, all ye 
ends of the earth." Many on reading the 
lives of useful men have been led to exclaim, 
" that I could be the means of doing as 
much good as they have done !" Many on 
reading the sweet experience and happy 
death of the saints have been led to exclaim, 
" that I could live such a holy life, and die 
such a happy death !" Now, there is much 
difference even in religious books. Some are 
more perfect than others. Let us then show 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 45 

our economy by selecting the very best, that 
we may find ourselves in the possession of 
something that will prove as a sweet solace 
for daily life — something that will be like 
gentle comrades, kind advisers, helpers, 
friends, and comforters. Let us read and 
well digest the books best suited to our case. 
But that which has the first and greatest 
claim upon our attention is the Bible. The 
blessed truths which it teaches are, like their 
great Author, eternal. It tells us what we are 
here, and what we are to be hereafter. It 
contains the good news or the glad tidings of 
great joy. That is, it tells us " that God so 
loved the world that he sent his only begot- 
ten Son, that whosoever believeth in him 
should not perish, but have eternal life." In 
that blessed book we find recorded these 
precious encouragements, " Come unto me, 
and I will give you rest," and "Him that 
cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out." 
" Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is 
the kingdom of heaven." In short, it tells 
us what we must do to please God, and to 
prepare for heaven. Oh, then, let us en- 



46 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

deavour to store our minds with a good 
knowledge of its contents, for truly it is the 
best of books, the best of friends, the same 
to-day and for ever. 

Portsmouth Asylum, Oct. 9th, 1848. 

My dear Friend : — 

I gladly received your present of books, 
tracts, &c. ; also your letter of the 20th of 
last month. I think you are indeed very 
kind to send such suitable books, and write 
to such a poor creature as I am. But oh ! 
my friend, I plainly trace the guiding hand 
of Providence in leading you to visit one who 
is so unworthy — one who scarcely dares to 
call himself his servant. And it is that 
same God who now sees me and careth for 
me, that suggests to the minds of those who 
are in health and prosperity, the duty of 
visiting such as He sees meet to afflict. 
Therefore all praise and thanksgiving be to 
his great name for ever ! 

I was much affected by reading the account 
of poor William Churchman. Although it 
does not appear that he was bed-ridden, yet 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 47 

his life exhibits a touching instance of the 
sad consequences of neglect and brutality. 
However, it seems that his afflictions were 
sanctified to him, even to the preparing him 
to enter into the joys of his Lord. Some of 
those sweet pieces in the volume of religious 
poetry you sent me, have been both comfort- 
ing and encouraging to my poor afflicted soul, 
and, agreeably to your suggestion, I readily 
committed to memory the one entitled, 
" Thou Grod seest me." Indeed there are 
many other pieces in the book very beauti- 
fully adapted to my case and circumstances, 
and some of them are so enlivening and com- 
forting that I love to dwell upon them. A few 
weeks since I had a visit from my good and 
kind friend, Anna A. Jenkins, who soon ex- 
pects to go on a religious visit to Europe. She 
and several other benevolent friends have late- 
ly contrived an easy sick-chair for me, hoping 
I might be enabled to recline upon it some- 
times more comfortably than upon my bed. 
But my limbs are so distorted that it was 
found impossible for me to use it, at which I 
felt somewhat disappointed, yet I was kept 



48 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

from murmuring by the consideration that it 
was possible for me to be much worse than I 
am now, and that although I can neither sit, 
stand, nor go, and am often constrained to 
pass through deep exercises of mind, and to 
feel many severe restraints from my outward 
circumstances, yet it is the Lord's blessed 
will that it should be so, and what is his will 
ought to be my will, because I am well as- 
sured that what He willeth is always right 
and just. Therefore I have cause 

" To thank him for sickness, for sorrow, for care, 
For the thorns I have gathered, the anguish I bear ; 
For nights of anxiety, watching, and tears, 
A present of pain, a perspective of fears : 
And meekly 'mid my anguish say, 
Still will I trust Him, though He slay." 

Your obliged friend, 

Wm. R. Fales. 

November 8th, 1848. — All invalids whose 
mental powers are not diminished, may have 
time enough to review their past lives, and 
to think upon the numerous blessings which 
have been showered upon them by their 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 49 

merciful Creator and Benefactor. They may 
also call to mind, and consider how many 
privileges they have had, and how many 
opportunities granted for alleviating the suf- 
ferings of their fellow-creatures, for we are 
commanded to work while it is called to-day, 
that is, while we are permitted to enjoy life, 
strength of body, and of mind. And the 
work which should chiefly claim our attention, 
and which we all ought cheerfully to engage 
in, while on earth, must be necessarily of that 
kind, which will tend to fit and prepare us 
for the enjoyment of eternal felicity in hea- 
ven. Oh ! my dear fellow-travellers, who- 
ever you are, let me entreat you, not to 
delay repentance, nor be deceived with a 
vain and false hope, nor with a presump- 
tuous expectation of God's favour, nor say 
within yourselves, " Peace, peace ; when there 
is no peace," for God is of purer eyes than 
to behold iniquity with any degree of allow- 
ance ; and, "without holiness no man can see 
the Lord." Yet despair not of his mercy — 
though troubles are on every side ; for God 
shutteth not up his mercies for ever, but has 
5 



50 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

promised forgiveness to all those who confess 
and forsake their sins. He has never turned 
any away who came humbly unto him, nor has 
he ever said, " Seek ye my face in vain." 
But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and 
just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us 
from all unrighteousness. I beseech you then 
to hearken to Jesus Christ's gracious invita- 
tion, while it is called to-day. For now we 
are the objects of God's mercy, if by true 
faith and repentance we turn unto him. 
But if we neglect these things, we shall be 
the object of his justice and vengeance. 
Then " seek the Lord while he may be found, 
and call upon him while he is near," for 
those who seek him early have the blessed 
assurance of finding him, and receiving from 
his merciful hands the blessed gift of eternal 
life, which he hath promised to all those who 
diligently seek, and faithfully serve him unto 
the end. Then reject not his offered and 
proffered mercy, but seek an interest in the 
blood of Christ, while it is called to-day. 
Accept willingly his terms of offered mercy 
and everlasting salvation. Open your hearts 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 51 

and receive the spirit of truth. Let it abide 
within you ; adhere to it as jour only 
guide ; — and though the path of duty may 
often lead you into the midst of fiery trials, 
yet that same God who miraculously de- 
livered his children from the burning fiery 
furnace, is still able to preserve all those 
who put their trust in him, and will gra- 
ciously condescend to lead you safely forward 
in the straight and narrow way, which lead- 
eth from earthly woes to heavenly bliss. 

Therefore fear not, neither be dismayed, 
though your path is beset with continued 
trials, or your course impeded with many 
difficulties and sad disappointments, but let 
your minds be stayed on our great Leader 
and Almighty Helper, for his way in his 
dealings with his people is often " as in the 
sea, and his path in deep waters, and his foot- 
steps are not known." He knoweth how 
effectually tribulations contribute to wear 
away the rust of corruption, and to wean us 
from the things of this world. Let us then 
believe that the trials which are permitted to 
attend us are graciously designed to drive us 



52 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

closer to him, who is ever ready (when we 
ask in a right frame of mind) to do for us, 
more than we can either ask or think. And 
since we know that he is able to make all 
things work together for good to those who 
love him, let us patiently submit to all his 
righteous dispensations, and meekly suffer his 
most holy will. Let us rest assured, that be 
our afflictions ever so great, or long continued, 
that they are in the counsel of Infinite Wis- 
dom, and under the direction of a merciful 
Providence, therefore, we should not be 
moved by whatever befalls us, knowing that 
it comes from the hand of Him who doeth all 
things well. Let us keep our hearts stead- 
fastly fixed upon that God, with a true and 
unalterable resolution of suffering for his 
sake. Yea, let us manifest our love for him 
by patiently enduring labour and sorrow, 
persecution, temptation, poverty and want, 
pain and sickness, reproof, humiliation, con- 
fusion, and contempt. In short, let us cheer- 
fully submit to all his gracious appoint- 
ments, and for his sake endure losses and B 
crosses, and with a lively faith, pass through 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 53 

the various trials that surround us, fully as- 
sured that if we continue faithful unto the 
end, we shall receive as a reward for our 
faithfulness, the gift of eternal life, in that 
blest abode where none can say they are 
sick. 

We who have spent our days in sadness, 
Shall there enjoy a day of gladness ; 
For truly there, our joys will be 
Lasting throughout Eternity. 

November 18th. — It is very necessary for 
us to work while it is called day, for the 
night cometh wherein no man can work. 

The day, I think, means now while we 
possess life and ability; and the night, I 
think, means death, or after death. There 
is nothing more true than the fact, that 
sooner or later death will overtake us all, 
prepared or unprepared, and after the night 
of death cometh, and we are numbered with 
the dead, we can do no more work, for there 
is no repentance in the grave. And, per- 
haps, it might well be said, that the night 
hath already come upon those who are de- 
5* 



54 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

prived of their reasoning powers ; for there 
are many poor creatures now living, who had 
time to repent while possessed of their right 
mind, yet it seems they would not choose God 
for their portion, nor heed his commands, 
but chose to follow their own sinful ways 
a little longer, little expecting to become 
reasonless, before they had made their peace 
with God. But so it was, and he saw fit to 
withhold his blessings from them, and permit 
their minds to become darkened, so that the 
light of reason being extinguished, these 
poor creatures appear wholly incapable of 
worshipping their Creator, or preparing for 
death. And as the sacred Scriptures ex- 
pressly declare, that, "without holiness no 
man shall see the Lord," and " except a man 
be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of 
God," how bitter must be the portions of 
such as go on in their wickedness until de- 
prived of their reason, and then sink into the 
grave with all their load of sin and guilt 
bound fast to them ! Ah ! methinks if they 
had only been sensible of the awful conse- 
quences of unrepented sin, they would have 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 55 

duly improved their time and talents whilst 
they were sane — yea ! they would earnestly 
have strove to make their election sure by 
accepting Christ for their Lord and Saviour, 
and choosing that good part, whereby they 
would have secured treasure in heaven; — a 
good hope beyond the grave. 

However, pitiable and hopeless as the ma- 
niac's case may seem to us, yet it is no more 
so than that of other sinners, who still go on 
transgressing against God's righteous laws, 
until death sweeps them into eternity. And 
when we well know what frail mortals we are, 
is it not strange that we do not take warn- 
ing from the woful calamities which befall 
our fellow-creatures ? And do we not know 
that disease and death are no respecters of 
persons, and that one is as liable to become 
insane or reasonless as another ? Certainly 
we do. Well then, seeing we know not how 
soon we may be devoid of our reason, nor 
how soon ghastly death may overtake us, 
how very necessary it is for us to be pre- 
paring for death and eternity noiv, whilst we 
have time and opportunity afforded us, so 



56 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

when we are called upon to resign our lives, 
we may do so in the joyful assurance of be- 
ing made partakers of everlasting rest. 

December 4th, 1848. — There is now in 
our house a very poor, wretched old woman, 
lying at the point of death, and it makes 
me feel sorrowful to think of her state, 
for it is fearfully evident that, instead of 
spending her life in seeking salvation, she 
has been sinning against a holy and just 
God. For many years previous to her 
coming here, she travelled the roads seek- 
ing employment, and obtained a subsistence 
for a while by working a few weeks at 
one house, and a few at another, until she 
became so disabled that no one wished to 
employ her, and on the 26th of last June she 
was brought by the overseer of the poor to 
this asylum, in a deplorable state of decline. 
But she has not seemed contented with her 
allotment, nor been obedient to her rulers ; 
on the contrary, she has appeared passionate 
and ungovernable, using much profane lan- 
guage, — having no fear of future judgment, 
nor caring what might become of her soul, 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 57 

saying she did not believe there was any- 
worse place of punishment than this earth. 
She has been unwilling to listen to any reli- 
gious discourse, or receive counsel from those 
who seemed interested in the welfare of her 
soul. Ah ! it indeed seems as though the 
Holy Spirit had done striving with her, and 
that she had sinned away her day of grace ; 
the eye of her soul being so dimmed that she 
cannot see her true condition. Oh ! how 
awful it is for people thus to end their days 
with sin unrepented of, and consequently no 
hope of happiness beyond the grave 1 

For some days past the poor creature was 
so helpless as to require assistance to turn 
her in bed, and it has been truly heart-rend- 
ing to hear her bemoan her situation, and to 
see how easily she would become enraged, 
and it was very distressing to hear her violent 
and abusive language, accompanied by bitter 
oaths and wicked blasphemy, whenever her 
attendants were endeavouring to render her 
situation more tolerable. Some thought her 
intellectual faculties were not quite so strong 
as common, and perhaps it was so. I am 



58 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

willing to make all possible allowance for the 
poor woman, for it is evident that she was 
very ignorant concerning the way of holiness, 
and that she had always been a stranger to 
that humble resignation to God's will which 
cometh from a steadfast reliance on his assis- 
tance. And thus she has lived, and thus 
she has died, and after death comes judgment. 
Yes ! the poor soul has now gone to try the 
realities of that world from whence there is 
no return. 

Portsmouth Asylum, 

December 19th, 1848. 
My dear Friend : — 

About two hours after closing my last 
letter to you, your package was delivered to 
me, containing some choice tracts, two pre- 
cious letters, an excellent book, some paper, 
pencils, &c, all of which were acceptable. 
In short, I had never in my life before felt 
such grateful feelings arise within my bosom, 
as on receiving these gifts. They are a 
source of comfort to me amid my trials and 
poverty. I shall not attempt to describe 
what I feel ; — it is beyond the power of words 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 59 

to do so. I was much interested in reading 
that curious piece concerning " The Beggar 
and no Beggar;" yea, I have felt my mind 
renewed and my faith strengthened in medi- 
tating thereon, and feel sensibly how very 
necessary it is that we should endeavour to 
place our whole dependence upon an Almighty 
Protector, and how humbly we ought to 
hearken unto the counsels of an All-wise 
Director. For truly he is a great Preserver ; 
and who is it that can direct us in the way 
of truth and holiness like unto him ? But, 
my dear friend, do you think the story of the 
beggar was a reality ? or do you think it an 
allegory, or something typical, written or 
intended to excite us to more earnest desires 
after that great and strong faith which waver- 
eth not ? — My mind was considerably excited 
to feelings of sympathy by the touching 
account you gave me of the young man who 
was so unexpectedly deprived of his reason, 
and I was glad to hear you say that he had 
been a follower of Jesus. Oh, my friend ! 
we cannot be too thankful for such blessings 
as our reason, our sight, and our hearing, 



60 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

and though I am in a great measure deprived 
of the use of my limbs, jet I have cause to 
feel thankful for many favours. How much 
more miserable I should be, if I had not been 
favoured mth the opportunity of learning to 
read ! But then, what would be the art of 
reading, or what would books avail me, if I 
was deprived of my sight, or my reason ? My 
health is much as it has been for some months 
past. I generally suffer much pain whenever 
I am moved, but I hope my patience will 
hold out to the end. 

A few weeks since I underwent much pain 
in having a large tooth extracted ; and what 
tended to increase my suffering was the fact 
that my jaws were so much contracted by 
rheumatism as to leave but a narrow space 
between them, and being an upper tooth, it 
was impossible to pull it downwards without 
coming in contact with my under teeth. So, 
after being started so as to meet them, the 
doctor was obliged to wrench it out sideways, 
and thereby fractured my jaw-bone. But I 
do not feel alarmed ; neither am I disposed 
to repine. The Lord knows what is best for 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 61 

me, and though He afflict me many ways, 
yet mercy is mingled with all his dispensa- 
tions, and I have long endeavoured to attain 
to that degree of resignation which, under 
all circumstances, can heartily respond in 
these words to all his appointments and re- 
quirements, — "Not my will, Lord, but 
thine, be done." 

January 2d, 1849. 

My Friend : 

I am truly more and more surprised at 
the kindness you show me, accustomed as I 
long have been to coldness and neglect. It 
has been cause of wonder, why such a poor, 
unworthy creature should be thus tenderly 
regarded. Yesterday was New Year's day? 
and in the morning I received your bundle, 
and could not help exclaiming, "A new year's 
gift" indeed! for it was the more pleasing, 
because to my remembrance I had never be- 
fore received a present on New Year's day. 
I have not written much in my blank book, 
as I find that writing is extremely tiresome 
to me, but I consider it a favour to be able 



62 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

to write from six to eight such lines as these 
in a day. I had a visit from my kind friend 
T. R. H., who brought me a number of 
tracts to read, and then I am to distribute 
them among my comrades, and to those who 
may visit the house. Much of the time we 
have religious meetings once in two weeks, 
at which time I generally present a few 
tracts to those of the neighbours who attend. 
For some days past I have not felt so well 
as common ; my appetite is poor, and I have 
disagreeable, dull feelings through my head, 
especially across my forehead. A piece of 
my jaw-bone has protruded through the gum, 
yet it firmly adheres to the main portion; 
perhaps after a while it will work loose, and 
come out. 

I have had some grievous trials of late, 
but have refrained from mentioning them to 
any one, believing that the Lord is able to 
make the wrath of man to work his pleasure, 
or work for good to those who suffer thereby. 
I have often found, that : — 

"From human eye 'tis better to conceal 
Much that I suffer, much I hourly feel. 






MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 63 

And unto Him make this my brief appeal, — 
My Father ! all is known to thee ! " 

I hope you will write soon to your afflicted 
friend, 

W. R. F. 

January 80th, 1849. — We should always 
seriously consider that as we love to see 
others just and upright in all their dealings 
with men, so do they in the same proportion 
love to see us just and upright in all our 
dealings. If we are then punctual to fulfil 
our promises and engagements, we shall by 
our example induce others to be punctual in 
fulfilling theirs. For as our eyes are apt to 
observe, and our judgment to censure the 
conduct of others, so is our conduct observed 
and censured by them. The old proverb 
says, "Honesty is the best policy." Yes! 
we must be strictly honest if we wish to pros- 
per on earth, and enjoy peace and happiness 
hereafter. And to honesty we must join 
holiness, for true holiness necessarily ex- 
cludes all that is evil and impure, and in- 



64 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

eludes all that is good, pure, and holy. Al- 
though it is proper for us to be diligent in 
business, yet we should also be desirous of 
providing things honest in the sight of God 
and man. We ought, however not to be 
anxious in seeking after the riches, honours, 
and pleasures of this world, for thereby we 
shall neglect ourselves, and our own salva- 
tion. We should prefer above all other cares, 
the care of our own improvement in the 
knowledge of the truth as it is in Jesus, and 
considering that we have no abiding city 
here, we should endeavour to live in the 
world as strangers and pilgrims, and to 
spend the days of our sojourning here below, 
in holy fear, for we know not the hour in 
which death will seize us, nor can we rightly 
conceive the consequences of its finding us 
unprepared. Now, therefore, while our time 
is in much mercy prolonged, let us be ear- 
nest in laying up for ourselves the substan- 
tial and unperishing treasures of heaven. 
Let us learn now to die to the world, that 
we may, after death, begin to live with Christ. 
That is, let us be constantly striving to with- 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 65 

draw our affections from things on earth, 
and set them on things above. Yea ! let 
us endeavour more and more to keep our 
hearts disengaged from earthly passions and 
pursuits, and lifted up to heaven, in the 
humble and patient hope of arriving at that 
city which is to come, whose builder and 
maker is God. So that when we have fin- 
ished our course on earth, we may find an 
abundant entrance into the gates thereof, 
and be made partakers of a joy unspeakable, 
which is prepared for those who truly love 
and serve him, through Jesus Christ our 
Redeemer. 

Feb. 15th. — Various circumstances have 
conspired of late to convince me of the need 
I have for a further change. I want more 
humility and more love. I have it at times, 
but not in so great a measure as I ought. I 
desire such a continuing humility and love as 
will always incline me to do good to them 
that hate me, and to pray for them that 
despitefully use me and persecute me. But 
something arises that seems selfish, and some- 
times like anger for a moment, which, though 



66 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

never abiding, plainly convinces me that I 
am not yet in the full possession of that 
heart which seeketh not her own, nor that 
charity which never faileth. " 0, Lord ! 
make me to become wholly conformed to all 
thy righteous will." 

February 16th, 1849. —Nearly fifteen 
years have passed away since the beginning 
of my present illness, and within that time 
I have learned what it is to endure afflictions 
and trials of the most distressing kind. But 
I will not allow murmuring thoughts to arise 
in my heart, for I know that afflictions spring 
not from the ground, but are needful to re- 
mind me that here I have no continuing city, 
and to raise my grovelling mind from earth 
to the contemplation of that eternal state 
upon which I soon must enter. No ! I will 
not murmur at that Providence which has 
deprived me, in the bloom of youth, of my 
dearest earthly treasures, and blighted my 
brightest hopes with regard to the enjoyments 
of time, for this world is not to be my abiding 
home. Oh ! I can truly say that it is good 
for me that I have been, and still am, af- 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 67 

flicted. For, before I was afflicted, I went 
astray, and was ignorant concerning the 
ways of the Lord; but, since I have been 
lying upon this sick-bed, I have become 
acquainted with my God, and have learned 
to put my trust in his goodness and power. 

March, 1849. — If you incline to instruct 
others, be sure to teach them by your exam- 
ple as well as by your words. Be yourselves 
what you would have them to be. Practice 
is the most effectual way of teaching man- 
kind, who are remarkably addicted to imita- 
tion, especially of those whom they consider 
their superiors. Never let them hear those 
words out of your lips, nor see those prac- 
tices in your lives, which you reprove in 
them. 

None will be saved because they teach 
godlike things, if they be ungodly them- 
selves. Then, let others see by your daily 
practice that you indeed believe what you 
would have them to believe. Let them see 
in your life that dislike to sinful ways, which 
your lips recommend ; for, in vain may you 
exhort them to be spiritual, while you are 



68 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

worldly. In vain do you entreat them to 
walk in the narrow way which leads to 
heaven, while you decline to walk in it your- 
selves. Therefore, you must live what you 
teach, and be yourself just what you desire 
them to become. This is the most effectual 
way of promoting unity and a happy state 
of things amongst mankind. what is it 
that is more truly necessary, or more highly 
important, than for every one to look well to 
their daily and hourly example ? A good 
example not only conduces to our welfare, 
but tends to promote the welfare of those 
around us. 

March 16th, 1849. — While we can readily 
detect faults in others, let us recollect that 
others can, just as readily, detect faults in 
us ; so then, instead of our endeavouring to 
find out how many faults others have, let us 
search our own hearts, in order to see how 
many faults we can find in ourselves. Let 
us review our past lives, and if we discover 
wherein we have done amiss, let us heartily 
repent of it, and endeavour to make as much 
restitution as possible. It will always be 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 69 

profitable for us to search our own hearts, 
and examine our ways, with a design to 
amend them. Let us not delay the work 
any longer, but with a deep sense of our 
imperfections and past omissions, let us each 
search out and put away our sins. We may 
think ourselves wise when we are foolish, and 
strong when we are weak, because our wis- 
dom is foolishness in the sight of God, and 
our strength is but weakness at the best. 
Human nature is blind to its own imperfec- 
tions, and prone to sin as the sparks fly 
upward. We inconsiderately overlook many 
faults in ourselves, which others readily per- 
ceive, and look upon with great abhorrence. 
Deeply then let us feel our dependence upon 
God, for He is the true source of all good. 
Unto Him let us cry for assistance. He can 
show us our faults, and He alone can enable 
us to search our spirits aright, and give us 
strength to overcome every evil propensity. 

Portsmouth, March 26th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : — 

My mind was cheered by the expressions 



TO MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

contained in your letter of the 7th, many of 
which were calculated to lead me to a serious 
contemplation of Him, who is the author and 
inspirer of every good thought, and from 
whom all holy desires, all good counsel, and 
all just works proceed ; and who is also the 
giver of every good and perfect gift which 
we poor mortals enjoy. And what an un- 
failing source of comfort we can find in this 
great and good Lord, if we only seek after it 
in the appointed way and manner ! For it 
is He who hath given us this gracious invita- 
tion, with the consoling promise connected 
thereunto, " Come unto me, all ye that labour 
and are heavy laden, and I will give you 
rest." Again, He hath promised, "If we 
come unto him, He will in no wise cast us 
out." 0, what precious promises ! for what 
can be more desirable than to have a place 
whereunto we may always resort, with the 
assurance of having our weary souls re- 
freshed, without fear of being rejected or 
cast out ? We also have liberty to commit 
all our concerns into the Lord's hands, yea, 
we may cast all our cares on him, for he 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 71 

careth for us. But if we will not come to 
him for relief, nor trust our concerns in his 
hands, we shall not have any one to blame 
but ourselves, if we still feel unrefreshed, 
with our encumbering cares, like a tremen- 
dous weight, resting heavily upon our shoul- 
ders ; for, truly, his grace is sufficient for us, 
and that my soul knoweth right well; for 
many a time, when the pains of my body 
have been extremely great, I have called on 
the Lord, and was relieved in such a manner 
that I felt constrained to say, " Surely, this 
is the Lord's doings." Yes ! the Lord hath 
shown great mercy unto me in affording me 
time and opportunity to repent ; and oh ! 
may his sparing mercy be praised, for, while 
many have been suddenly hurried into eter- 
nity, I, a poor, unworthy creature, have 
plenty of time allowed me to make prepa- 
ration for death, and am still spared as a 
monument of his love and mercy. Now, my 
dear friend, though you desire I should make 
but little mention of the favours received 
from you, yet I hope you will not be dis- 
pleased, when I tell you that I feel it my 



72 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

duty to make due acknowledgments therefor, 
even if I scarcely write about anything else ; 
but, at the same time, I do not forget to 
thank my heavenly Benefactor for all things, 
because I fully believe Him to be the great 
giver and disposer of all my blessings ; and 
that it is wholly through his goodness that I 
am supplied with all those things which I 
enjoy ; and though, at many periods of my 
past illness, I have been very destitute of 
even the common necessaries of life, and 
have suffered great privations, yet I have 
often sweetly proved the blessed trueness of 
the Scripture promise, which saith, "The 
Lord will provide." And, doubtless, he will 
provide for all those who steadfastly rely on 
his gracious promises, and humbly trust in 
his faithfulness and mercy ; for many a time 
He hath sent me seasonable relief, and that, 
too, in such a time, and from such a source, 
that I have been led to express myself in 
language similar to this, 

" Lord, thou hast searched me through and through, 
And knowest my every need ; 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 73 

And mindful of frail nature too, 
Hath given me friends indeed." 

And, moreover, the Lord will provide some- 
thing for his servants, which is far more de- 
sirable than temporal enjoyments, that is, 
He will provide a source of happiness within 
the hearts of those who love and fear him, 
which will be like a well of water in them, 
springing up into everlasting life, insomuch 
that they may almost constantly feel that 
pure love, and humble joy, and peace of 
mind, which passeth all understanding. My 
health is, at this time, very poor ; for many 
days past my sufferings have been great. 
My trials are so numerous, and my feelings 
so varied, that I cannot describe them. I 
have many trials which no human eye can 
discover, and which are unknown to the 
world, but the Lord seeth and knoweth all 
things. All my afflictions, all my trials, all 
my sorrows, are known to him. Consoling 
thought ! I will lift up my eyes unto him 
from whom my help cometh. He hath pro- 
mised all things shall work together for good 



74 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

to them that love him, therefore, I feel safe 
while trusting in his mercy ; for the Lord is 
good, and his mercy endureth for ever. My 
dear friend, I desire you will remember me 
in your approaches at the throne of grace. 
Intercede for me, to have a greater, and yet 
stronger, faith, more fortitude and patience, 
and all other needful graces. Please re- 
member me kindly to , and be assured 

I remain, 

Your sincere friend, 

W. R. Fales. 

Portsmouth, April 24th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : 

The package containing your letters, &c, 
reached me in good order, for which you will 
accept of my sincere thanks. How good the 
Lord is to mix so many mercies with my 
afflictions ! Oh ! how can I be sufficiently 
grateful for all the favours I receive ? 

The chilling storms of winter have now 
passed, and welcome spring has again re- 
turned. The weather daily is becoming more 
mild and temperate, and the sweet songs of 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 75 

the cheerful birds are ascending to their 
Creator in hymns of grateful praise. As 
soon as the morning light appears, I catch 
their artless strains, but cannot arise and go 
forth to see them : sometimes the sheep and 
lambs are admitted into the house-yard, to 
nip the tender grass, and I can hear the 
sprightly footsteps of the sportive little crea- 
tures under my window, but I cannot arise 
to behold them. Ah, no ! I shall no more 
arise and go forth to tread the soft green 
grass, nor to view the works of God in 
nature. No more shall I feast my eyes upon 
the varied colours of the feathered songsters, 
nor watch the merry gambolling of the inno- 
cent little lambs while playing around their 
chosen haunts. No more shall I review the 
well-remembered abodes of my childhood, 
nor listen to the kind voices of those two old 
friends who tenderly administered to my 
wants while I sojourned with them. No 
more shall I roam through the shady woods, 
nor climb the lofty hills to survey the pleas- 
ing landscape below. Not that I am disposed 
to complain of my sore privations, dr to 



76 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

murmur at the righteous dispensations of that 
All-wise Being who, I trust, has in mercy 
fixed my lot. No, not so. But the return- 
ing spring reminds me anew of those days of 
my early life wherein I was enabled to arise 
and go forth to inhale the refreshing air of 
the morning, and in which I could make 
myself useful various ways. I am also re- 
minded of that pleasant afternoon on which 
my little busy feet carried me into that fatal 
pond to which my painful disease can now so 
easily be traced. Yes ! on that afternoon, 
and at that pond, I found the bane of my 
earthly happiness. There was laid the foun- 
dation of inexpressible suffering ; and though 
twenty-two years have elapsed since the oc- 
currence of that memorable event, yet the 
scene remains as fresh in my mind as though 
it was but yesterday. Nearly fourteen years 
have now passed since the beginning of my 
present sickness. I little thought then, how 
great and how various were the trials ap- 
pointed me, or that my sufferings would con- 
tinue without intermission until this time; 
but it is all right; for I have the promise 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 77 

that all shall work for good to them who love 
God. Oh, that I could love him more ! Oh, 
that he would give me grace to love and fear 
him as I ought, and endue me with patience 
to suffer passively all his holy will, so that, 
in due time, I may become meet for the king- 
dom of heaven ! Oh, my friend, pray that 
it may be even so. Sometimes I feel anxious 
to depart from this world of sorrow, yet I 
am willing to wait the Lord's time, for he is 
good to me, and I trust that he will release 
my poor soul from the shackles of mortality 
in his own good time, and admit me into 
the mansions of everlasting rest and peace. 
Tell that the consideration of that inte- 
resting passage of Scripture which she men- 
tioned as being applicable to me, has some- 
times proved a source of peculiar comfort to 
my troubled soul. Yes ! the Lord did take 
me up, and prove himself to be " a friend that 
sticlceth closer than a brother." Tell her to 
be of good cheer, for the cup of affliction is 
undoubtedly administered to us by a fatherly 
hand, to prove our faith and patience, and to 
the intent that he may prepare our souls for 
7* 



78 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

the thankful reception of those future enjoy- 
ments which he hath laid up in store for all 
those who endure faithful unto the end. My 
friend, I feel myself growing weaker and 
weaker. At times, I am exercised with great 
pain, especially when I remain too long in 
one position, and it is difficult for me to 
lie on my right side ; I cannot continue upon 
it but a little while, before the pain and 
cramp become so severe that I am forced to 
cry aloud. But I have no reason to com- 
plain, for, though this great debility is very 
trying, and my pains are ofttimes hard to 
bear, yet the change in my strength has been 
so gradual as to be almost imperceptible, and 
I am favoured with seasons of such compara- 
tive ease or relief as to convince me that the 
Lord will not permit me to suffer one pang 
more than he sees is needful for my soul. 
Oh, my friend ! for some time past my spirits 
have been in a state of depression. We are 
anxiously waiting for the Lord to bless us 
with an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, and I 
trust we may not wait in vain, for truly the 
Lord is a prayer-hearing and a prayer-an- 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 79 

swering God, and is the same yesterday, to- 
day, and for ever ; but the present is very 
dark, gloomy, and discouraging. I often 
think if I had a friend near at hand to whom 
I might unburden my troubled mind, it 
would alleviate my sorrows. But, alas ! I 
have no such an one here (except it is the 
Lord), and in his mercy I will continue to 
trust. And now, my friend, if we should not 
meet again in this world of sorrow, let us 
try to meet in yonder bright world, where 
sorrow never comes. 

Wm. R. Fades. 

Portsmouth, May 9th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : 

I have many considerations at heart of 
which I would be glad to write you, but my 
mind is so confused that I dare not undertake 
to describe them. I have many thoughts 
occur to my mind, which I would gladly 
express to some kind person who would con- 
descend to edify me by rendering to me the 
desired explanation. I like to speak of what 
I feel, but have no confidant at hand to whom 



80 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

I can reveal the secrets of my heart, — my 
trials, or whatever burdens or perplexes me. 
Oh, how I have longed for some true Chris- 
tian friends, of whom I might either ask their 
advice, enjoy their sympathy, or share an 
interest in their prayers; for I think the 
benefit of such a friendship would prove a 
very great help and comfort to me ; and 
though I believe you are truly my friend, 
yet you reside in a distant land, and I cannot 
speak to you of the things which I might if 
you were present ; nevertheless I consider it 
a blessing to have some one in this vale of 
tears disposed to minister the balm of pity to 
my sorrowing heart. You ask me to tell 
you something of the Lord's dealings with 
me, and deeply do I regret my inability to 
comply with your request to the fullest extent. 
Gladly would I tell you the whole story of 
my redemption, and give you an exact account 
of my singular experience : it would afford me 
pleasure to give you a regular and correct ac- 
count of the various trials and conflicts which 
I have endured, but I find it impossible to 
recall them to mind in their proper order, be- 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 81 

cause, during that long period of darkness and 
trouble wherein I was lying sore bound in the 
iron grasp of this grim disease, in deep distress, 
and surrounded by difficulties beyond descrip- 
tion, my soul, body, and spirit, were so full 
of trouble, pain, and sorrow, that I have now 
but a very imperfect recollection of what 
passed from day to day at that time. Yes, 
my ideas are so confused, and my impressions 
so imperfect concerning my progress, that I 
cannot delineate aright the trying scenes I 
passed through, therefore much of my painful 
experience must remain untold. . . Please 

remember me kindly to -, and be assured 

of the gratitude of your friend, 

W. R. F. 

June Tth, 1849. — I have been for nearly 
three weeks past much more unwell than 
usual, from a bad cold, attended with great 
soreness of body, pain, and difficulty of breath- 
ing. I am tried with a complication of dis- 
eases. Besides this, it is a day of great per- 
plexity, a day of clouds, and, at times, thick 
darkness. Yet I have felt the blessed pro- 



82 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

mise fulfilled to me, " When thou goest 
through the waters, they shall not overflow 
thee." And surely the Lord will lay no more 
on his poor creatures than his power and 
goodness will enable them to bear. I now 
feel much better in body, but my mind is still 
oppressed, and my way is the way of heavi- 
ness. Nevertheless, I trust singly in Jesus, 
and keep my hope fixed alone upon immor- 
tality The depressed mind surely 

demands something greater and higher than 
the common round of pleasures which this 
world affords us. It has a desire for higher 
bliss than that which we find here. In such 
a situation, is there any consolation equal to 
that which we may enjoy by drawing nigh 
unto God ? 

Devout intercourse with God, and serious 
meditation on heavenly things, furnish a 
comfortable relief to him whose mind is sunk 
down by sadness. He can look up to a 
Friend above, on whom he can place his trust 
in every time of need. And in looking up 
to that blessed place where he expects to find 
eternal repose, he beholds nothing which he 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 83 

cannot contemplate with delight, as both 
joyful and durable. 

Portsmouth, June 8th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : 

Your affectionate letter reached me on the 
6th, for which I heartily thank you. Since 
I last wrote you my health has suffered some 
very afflicting changes. I have had a heavy 
cold, and for nearly three weeks my bodily 
pains have been severe, and almost without 
intermission. Surely I have had a season of 
tossing, yet I would not murmur at what the 
Lord was pleased to have me suffer, nor dis- 
trust his goodness ; and all thanks be to his 
holy name who never requireth more than 
he enables us to perform. For he has seen 
meet to afford me relief in his own good time. 
Oh, that I may be grateful for this mani- 
festation of his goodness ! Oh ! he is good 
to me ; he knoweth whereof I am made, he 
remembereth that I am dust, He considereth 
all my weakness, and how true his promise 
proves to me, " As thy day is, so shall thy 
strength be." 



84 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

Your good friends, J. W. and daughter, 
got here on the morning of the 9th, and I 
was very glad to see them. Truly my spirit 
was refreshed by their visit, and I heartily 
returned thanks to my heavenly Father for 
his loving kindness graciously displayed in 
thus sending his servants to visit me in my 
affliction. Oh, his mercy is unbounded, and 
endureth for ever ! They brought me some 
good books and tracts, which I have found 
quite interesting, and consider them as tokens 
of their affection, and, above all, I thank the 
Lord for disposing them to make such a suit- 
able selection, — Upham's Lady Guyon, Bun- 
yan's Pilgrim's Progress, &c, &c, I become 
more and more sensible, that poor and un- 
worthy as I am, my heavenly Father is thus 
mindful of me. He has raised me up friends 
to administer to my wants, and to sweeten 
the bitter cup of suffering which in mercy He 
has seen meet I should drink of. I am 
pleased with my nice wrapper ; I have never 
had one equal to it, and it came at such a 
right time that it excites in my mind emo- 
tions of gratitude to the Source of all good. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 85 

The woman to whose care I am entrusted 
put it on me the next day. I have long 
since felt desirous to make her, and one or 
two others, some return for their attentions ; 
but oh ! the Lord hath known my heart's 
desire, and I now have such a manifestation 
of his goodness, and such evident proof that 
he orders all things well, that I can leave 
all my cares in his kind hand, and rely on 

him daily for all I want. Tell to be 

of good courage, and reckon that the suffer- 
ings of this present life are not worthy to be 
compared with the glory which shall be re- 
vealed hereafter ; for if she loves God, no doubt 
her present afflictions will work out for her a 
far more exceeding and eternal weight of 
glory. G. B. brought a female friend, S. 
Jones, to see me, on the 12th. It proved a 
season of sweet refreshment to my troubled 
soul ; and yesterday T. R. H. brought a 
minister named Sands to see me. Thus you 
see how good the Lord is to send his servants 
to visit this lonely spot, and administer the 
cup of consolation to the tried spirit of one 
so unworthy as I. Oh ! how can I be suffi- 



86 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

cientlj grateful for all the favours which I 
receive ? My health has been so poor that 
I have not been able to write much of late, 
feeling very weak, and having numerous diffi- 
culties to contend with. I have been carried 
out in the air once this season ; it was on the 
17th of May, and I enjoyed the scene con- 
siderably. Please remember me kindly to 

, and tell her that the excellent letter 

and little box which she had the kindness to 
send me, was received. The letter proved a 
solace to me, and the articles were truly 
acceptable. I cannot conclude this letter 
without thanking you for your interest in my 
welfare, and assuring you that you will con- 
tinue to share my feeble petitions at the 
throne of grace. 

I remain, in tender love, 

Your unchanging friend, 

W. R. Fales. 

Finished, June 15th. 

July, 1849. — When we seriously consider 
the uncertainty of time, the nearness of 
eternity, and what frail beings we are, and 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 87 

that the great business of life is to act well 
our part here, and prepare for that solemn 
change which awaits us, is it not very sur- 
prising to behold the majority of mankind, 
yea, and many of them, too, of the fore-rank 
of the people, acting the part of " the dog in 
the manger ?" That is, they will not strive 
to enter in at the strait gate themselves, 
nor suffer those that would enter to go in. 
Yes, instead of wisely using the means of 
grace within their power, and striving to lead 
a holy life themselves, they diligently use 
their influence in persuading and withholding 
others from using them, and in drawing their 
minds from the contemplation of wisdom and 
holiness. They take far greater delight in 
resorting to places of vain amusement than 
they do in attending places of Divine wor- 
ship. They have far more inclination to 
squander their precious time in idleness, than 
to improve it in storing their minds with 
useful knowledge, and preparing for eternity. 
What better can be said of such than that 
they are engaged in the service of Satan ? 
But ah, there will be a pay-day before long, 



00 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

for Satan will have a day of reckoning, in 
order to find out how much he is indebted to 
them for their services, and when that is 
fairly proved, he will reward them accord- 
ingly. And though it would seem that he 
is a very punctual paymaster, yet in the 
sequel it will be found that his servants may 
have good reason to be dissatisfied with their 
pay ; because, instead of receiving something 
which will contribute to their comfort, they 
will find themselves entitled to a seat in the 
doleful pit of unutterable darkness, where the 
worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. 
Well indeed may it be said that " the way 
of the transgressor is hard;" for surely it 
is hard here, and indescribably harder here- 
after. They will then have an eternity to 
mourn the loss of earthly privileges, and 
above all, regret the loss of misspent time. 
Truly, "the wages of sin is death." When 
the wicked die or perish, their hopes perish 
also, for the unregenerate soul hath no hope 
beyond the grave. Let us not then be found 
acting the part of the " dog in the manger," 
for it is brutish and wicked in the extreme. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 89 

The dog would not eat the haj himself, nor 
suffer the ox to eat it. So, when we cannot 
use the means of grace ourselves, let us not 
say or do anything to prevent others from 
using them. When opportunity is not afford- 
ed us to perform our religious duties, let us 
by no means endeavour to prevent others 
from performing theirs. We are all required 
to discharge our duty towards God and man, 
but if there are any so regardless of their 
future well-being as not to feel anxious to 
discharge their duties either at home or 
abroad, let them not add to their guilt by 
hindering others from doing so. But it 
surely behooves us all ever to keep in mind 
the awful uncertainty of time, and the need 
of diligence in preparing for that never- 
ending state of being which awaits us. And 
oh ! that none of us may be found in the 
employ of Satan, lest in the end we reap 
everlasting sorrow. Yield no more to his 
temptations, nor be persuaded to do any more 
of his drudgery, for he is a deceiver, and a 
poor paymaster. If we steadily resist him, 
he will flee from us. The days of man are 
8* 



90 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

few and full of trouble. Let us then not be 
weary in well-doing ; let us continue to work 
out our souls' salvation with fear and trem- 
bling, till we are made meet to enter that glo- 
rious rest, where sickness and sorrow cometh 
not, and be made partakers of those endless 
joys, prepared for the saints from the founda- 
tion of the world. 

Portsmouth Asylum, July 16th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : — 

I must tell you that on the 6th of this 
month I received a visit from your and my 

dear friend , and though she did not stay 

long, yet my sorrowful heart and drooping 
spirits were revived and comforted by the 
visit. She brought me your package, also 
one from H. R., which was accepted with a 
grateful heart. I often find myself thinking 
of her, and sincerely hope that the Lord will 
preserve her from evil, and bestow upon her 
his choicest blessings. Since the warm wea- 
ther, my health has improved a little, though 
I feel continued weakness and weariness of 
both body and mind, attended with difficulty 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 91 

of breathing. However, I have great cause 
for thankfulness. Of late I have received 
many undeserved mercies, and have need to 
be grateful for the measure of health and 
number of privileges I enjoy, yea ! and for 
my afflictions also; for my afflictions have 
been the means of leading, or rather driving 
me to seek an interest in that Saviour whose 
mighty power is above the powers of hell, 
and who alone can give rest unto the weary 
and heavy laden. And although my priva- 
tions and sufferings are grievous to be borne, 
yet I trust they have the effect of driving 
me to the bosom of that God who is the only 
refuge in times of trouble, and to the arms 
of that Saviour who hath said, " Him that 
cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out." 
Mine is a peculiar allotment; my disorder 
and circumstances are of a nature that re- 
quires much stability and patience, — and oh, 
it seems to me I must need a vast deal of 
purifying, or so long a preparation would 
not have been appointed me. I often think 
of the great day of retribution, that solemn 
day wherein we shall have to give an ac- 



92 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

count of our stewardship, or of the way and 
manner in which we have improved our time, 
talents, and privileges, whilst in the body. 
And though I know not what bitter cups 
may be preparing for me, nor how long the 
time of my sojourn on earth may continue, 
yet I hope that patience may have its per- 
fect work in me, and that I shall be enabled 
to improve by my afflictions in the way 
which will most tend to the glory of God. 

Please remember me kindly to , and tell 

her, she is often the subject of my thought- 
ful moments, and that I think I can desire 
nothing better for her and myself, than that 
we may persist to cling to Him who is the 
only sure support against all that is evil in 
life, and all that is terrible in death ; and 
that our present afflictions may be instru- 
mental in working out for us a far more ex- 
ceeding and eternal weight of glory. 

It is now the 21st of the month. Oh ! how 
swiftly time passes away ! one day followeth 
another in rapid succession, still I do not 
know what time I may be called upon to try 
the realities of it. I may linger for some 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 93 

years ; but oh ! I feel all weakness. I am 
gradually wasting away, and have an inde- 
scribably wretched feeling throughout my 
whole frame. It is a day of clouds. The 
Lord is trying me to a hair's breadth. He 
crosses my wishes and takes away my de- 
lights. But no doubt He has good reasons 
for all that he does, therefore I will never 
distrust his love nor his wisdom in the mys- 
teries of his Providence — for he says, " What 
I do, thou knowest not now, but thou shalt 
know hereafter." I keenly feel the truth of 
the words of our Saviour when he says, " In 
the world ye shall have tribulation." But 
the Lord knoweth my solitary situation ; all 
is known to him ; and though my trials are 
great, yet they are mixed with much mercy. 
I have no dependence but on him, and I see 
how needful it is for me to lie still in his 
hands, making it my business to accept of 
everything as from Him. Please say to J. W. 
that I desire he will accept my hearty thanks 
for the nice book-case, the good book, and 
piece of money which he sent me ; I hope the 
Lord will reward him a thousandfold. Do not 



94 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

forget me, my dear friend, but remember me 
in your prayers, for I am, at seasons, so 
amazed and fearful, that but for the renewed 
confirming evidence that my God hath not 
forsaken me, I should indeed faint by the 
way. Please write as soon as convenient to 
your sincere and unchanging friend, 

William. 

August 15th. — On the 8th of this month, 
I was carried out in the air, a little before 
eight o'clock; the morning was clear and the 
scene reviving, and for a while I felt re- 
freshed, but from continuing out too long, 
I became exhausted, so that when I got back 
to my room I could hardly breathe or speak, 
and was exercised with severe pain in my 
left side, which prevented me from sleeping, 
and for several days I felt exceedingly sore 
and weak. Indeed, I was brought very low 
through weakness; but it hath pleased the 
Lord to revive me again, and prolong my 
pilgrimage on earth. My pains have consi- 
derably diminished, and I am now as com- 
fortable as I was before. This attack seems 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 95 

to have been the effect of fatigue. I think 
any one ought to be careful not to exert 
themselves over-much, as it is dangerous to 
overtask either mind or body, and there are 
doubtless many now in suffering from impru- 
dently exerting their strength too long at a 
time. 

Portsmouth, September 10th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : — 

I received your affectionate letter nearly a 
month ago, and regret that I could not have 
answered it sooner, but I have had two ill 
turns since I wrote to you last. My right 
arm has been so lame as to deprive me of 
the use of it for a number of days. I could 
not even feed myself. The flies in my room 
were, and still are, numerous and trouble- 
some, which renders my situation more dis- 
tressing, as I find it very hard to keep them 
off with my poor, feeble left arm. I also 
find it difficult to keep them off whilst wri- 
ting ; and though my suffering is greatly in- 
creased whenever my right arm becomes use- 
less, yet it is the Lord's will that it should 



96 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

be so, and I believe that my additional suf- 
ferings are sanctified to me in a peculiar 
manner, for I thereby see how easy it is for 
the Lord to lay his chastening hand still 
heavier upon me, if he should choose to do 
so, and remind me anew what a great favour 
it is to have even the imperfect use of my 
arms. But oh ! the Lord is good and worthy 
of all honour and praise. He enables me to 
pass through what is allotted to me, in a 
wonderful manner. God comforteth those 
who are cast down, and is the defender of 
all who put their trust in him. But what 
my outward situation is, and what the trials 
of my mind are, none but God knows. The 
difficulties with which I am surrounded are 
so perplexing that the continual language of 
my heart is, " Lord, undertake thou for me!" 
But I have committed my cause into his 
hands, and leave all to him, trusting that 
he will bring my soul out of its troubles in 
due time ; and all glory be given to his great 
and adorable name, for instead of permit- 
ting my trials to be as grating as they would 
have been once, he enables me in a good 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 97 

degree to embrace the humiliation, and share 
with joy his lot, who was counted "a worm 
and no man," the scorn of men, and the re- 
proach of the people. And now let me 
thank you for your tender sympathy. I 
cannot account for it any otherwise, than 
through the mercy of God. Yes, it is of 
His mercy! therefore I number my friends 
among my mercies and comforts in the jour- 
ney, through, and near the end, of this vale of 
sorrow and tears. 

Had I the wings of a dove, I would fly to 
you and unburden my poor heavy-laden 
mind. But I have one Friend above all 
others. He is nigh to all who call upon 
Him in faith, and He has promised that "his 
grace shall be sufficient for me!" What 
more can I ask ? Oh ! the blessing of 
having a God to trust to ! And now, my 
dear friend, seeing what poor fallible crea- 
tures we are, let us pray for one another, 
that we may be kept steadfast and immova- 
ble, on the one true foundation, unto the end, 
and finally obtain an admission into that 
glorious city, none of whose inhabitants can 



98 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

say, " I am sick." Do write when you can. 
Your letters are a comfort to your deeply 
afflicted friend, 

W. R. Fales. 

October, 1849. — Amid all the diversities 
of circumstances in which we are placed, it 
is our duty to acknowledge them as the pro- 
vidences of God, and to depend on him, and 
to implore him to enable us to discriminate 
between good and evil, and for ability to 
perform the work which he has evidently 
designed for us to do ; always remembering, 
that " Many are the afflictions of the right- 
eous, but the Lord delivereth him out of 
them all," and " They who sow in tears shall 
reap in joy." Yes ! let us remember it hath 
been said, "He that goeth forth weeping, 
bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come 
again rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with 
him." This, I conclude, means that all such 
as are now doomed to spend their days in 
sorrow or in affliction, amid the most fiery 
trials, shall, if they trust firmly in the Lord, 
be brought safely through all their troubles, 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 99 

rejoicing in the full assurance that they are 
in the possession of the pearl of great price, 
or such a passport as will obtain for them an 
abundant entrance into that better country, 
where all sorrow and disappointment, sick- 
ness and pain, will for ever cease, and where 
they will receive, in endless joys, the full 
reward for all their afflictions, and all their 
labours. God does not design that we shall 
be idle, nor does he design that we should 
live in despair. By his word, his providence, 
and the leading of his spirit, he points out 
the work which he would have each one of 
us to do, and, for our encouragement, he 
promiseth to reward every one according to 
their works. 0! then let us believe on him. 
Let us promptly and cheerfully perform the 
duty which he assigns to us ; let us apply 
ourselves to do the will of God. He is our 
maker, our provider, and our preserver ; and it 
is our duty to love and fear him. It is our 
duty to believe and obey him. It is our 
duty to depend upon him, to trust in his 
goodness, his mercy, and his power. Let us 
then strive to know his will ; let us ask him 



100 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

to enable us to do all things to the promotion 
of his honour and glory. When trials and 
difficulties throng our way, and all around us 
looks so dark and gloomy, that we cannot see 
how to direct our course, and know not 
which step to take next, let us not shrink 
from the obstacles that impede our course, 
nor be discouraged at the darkness of the 
path ; for, if we offer ourselves up wholly to 
do God's righteous will, and keep our minds 
stayed upon his eternal arm of power, we 
may hear his voice saying unto us, "Be not 
afraid, for I am with thee, and will guide 
thee in the right way." "Be not afraid, it 
is I." Yes ! the Lord is nigh unto all those 
who put their trust in him. He will not 
suffer any one, that relies upon his goodness 
and mercy, to be tempted above what they 
are able to bear. However we may find 
ourselves in a critical situation, and every 
human prospect of help hath vanished, we 
may be assured that his fond eye is watch- 
ing over us for good, and that his strong and 
everlasting arms are round, about, and un- 
derneath us, for our guard and support. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 101 

Even in our greatest extremities, we may 
recall to mind his precious promises, and 
hear him (as it were) saying unto us, "I will 
never leave thee, nor forsake thee." "Be- 
hold, I have graven thee upon the palms of 
my hands." Let us then trust him, and he 
will be a refuge for us. Let us remember 
how tenderly, and in what cheering language, 
our Saviour addressed his followers, when he 
said to them, "Fear not, little flock." Let 
us cast our fears aside, for he is the same 
Saviour, the same Father, now as ever ; and, 
if we cling unto his precious promises, we 
shall be carried through all our troubles in 
due time, for He is abundantly able to deli 
ver us from our enemies, yea, and to make 
all things come right, and prove for the best, 
causing them graciously to work together for 
our good, both here and hereafter. 

Portsmouth, November 28th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : — 

Your letter, which reached me this morn- 
ing, has come at a time when I am more 
than commonly cast down ; my already trou- 
9* 



102 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

bled soul being plunged into deep distress, 
by the sad tidings of the death of our dear 
friend, Anna A. Jenkins. Yes, my soul has 
been made exceedingly sorrowful by the sad 
news that that dear friend, and her eldest 
daughter, were burnt to death on the morning 
of the 21st. 

0, what an appalling calamity ! what a 
striking and mysterious Providence ! Truly, 
the Lord doth move in a mysterious way, his 
wonders to perform. But why is it that the 
best, the kindest, the most worthy and use- 
ful, are thus suddenly cut off by death ? Yes ! 
why is it that his most devoted servants are 
thus doomed to fall in the midst of their 
days, and in the midst of their usefulness, 
whilst the irreligious, and the most unprofit- 
able, are permitted to remain as cumberers 
of the ground? But so it is, and He is 
pleased that it should be so. Oh ! how un- 
searchable are his judgments, and his ways 
past finding out ! She was one of a thou- 
sand. She was truly a friend of humanity 
and mercy. She was ready for every good 
work, and a great part of her time was spent 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 103 

in ministering to the wants of both the souls 
and the bodies of her fellow-creatures. She 
was a valuable friend to the poor. She was 
ever ready to render her counsel and aid to 
those in distress. I understand that her 
daughter was accomplished and benevolent. 
Their scathed remains were interred on the 
24th, and a sorrowing community joins in 
the lamentation. Yes ! they are gone for 
ever, and left weeping relatives and friends 
to mourn their loss. Fourteen months ago, 
I saw her for the last time ; and, although at 
parting, we spoke about the uncertainty of 
our seeing each other's faces in mutability, 
and expressed a hope that we might meet in 
heaven, yet little did I then think that it 
would be Tier instead of me that would first 
be summoned to depart from this evil world. 
But so it has proved. Surely, death cometh 
as a thief in the night. Oh, my dear friend ! 
how necessary it is that we should be also 
ready. Oh ! let us live as in the constant 
view of eternity ! Let us keep pressing on 
towards our heavenly home, and trust in the 
love of our dear Saviour for all to come. 



104 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

Since I wrote last, I have been ill with a 
bad cold and asthma, which was attended with 
much hoarseness, and a troublesome hacking 
cough. During three days and nights I was 
so tried from want of breath, that I do not 
think I got more than one hour's sleep in the 
whole time. I then thought, if I could only- 
have sat up in bed, I might get some relief, 
or that it would be a good thing if I had 
some slippery-elm or flaxseed tea to drink ; 
and again I felt comforted by the thought 
that it was " all for the best." That all was 
right which my Father orders. But through 
mercy I am now something better, though 
still a poor, distressed creature. It may 
emphatically be said that I am a child of 
afflictions, and an heir of woe ; for I have 
been misfortune's mark ever since I was 
born, being desolate, forsaken, and alone. 
Truly, I have but one friend at hand, and 
that is my God. "Every door seems shut 
but one, and that is mercy's door." But oh, 
my friend ! it is at present impossible for me 
to disclose to you the cause of my disquie- 
tude, for I am fettered both in limb and 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 105 

thought. There are some things I wish 
you to know, which I cannot now write 

about But I have committed my 

way unto the Lord. He is my hope, my 
defender, in whom I put my trust ; and 
though I now feel poor and sorrowful, yet I 
hope that these tribulations will prove as 
messengers of grace, and that all things will 
work together for my good, both here and 
for ever. I endeavour to recollect the bless- 
ings which attend my melancholy situation, 
and strive to raise my heart from sorrow to 
gratitude and humble praise. All my help 
is in clinging to the will of God. He is able 
to dispel my present darkness, and deliver 
me out of my troubles in his own good time. 
Then, my dear friend, let us ask him to 
grant us help according to our necessities, 
and enable us to keep a firm confidence in 
his promises; above all, let us beseech him 
to keep alive our soul's desire after enjoy- 
ments pure and unchangeable, and be our 
guide and guard to the end, and then all will 
be well. 

Affectionately, your friend, 

W. R. F. 



106 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

Portsmouth, December 5th, 1849. 

My dear Friend : 

Your bundle arrived safely at the Asylum 
on the morning of the 30th ult. I received 
it as coming from the Lord of mercies and 
God of all comfort. Oh ! I can never enough 
bless and praise him for the great favour he 
hath done in raising up helpers for such a 
poor worm in the day of his adversity. My 
friend Gr. B. was here on the last monthly 
meeting day. He has shown me much kind- 
ness, therefore his visits are anticipated with 
pleasure, and remembered with gratitude. 
T. R. Hazard has not visited me since July. 
He is a kind and good friend to me. He is 
indeed a man of sympathies, and a friend to 
the poor. Perhaps, in process of time, he 
may know about how it is with me. It is a 
trying day, and the sorrows of my heart are 
enlarged. Oh, how could I be sustained 
under them without religion ? Surely it is a 
comfort to know that my Redeemer liveth, 
to whom all such weary and heavy-laden 
creatures as I am may have recourse in 
every time of need, and though clouds and 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. , 107 

darkness surround both soul and body, yet I 
have an unshaken belief that Christ will in 
due time appear in my behalf, and deliver 
me from all them that trouble me, yea, and 
grant me a happy issue out of all my afflic- 
tions. This is my support, this is my anchor ! 
There are three things which I do most fer- 
vently desire the Lord will grant me. The 
first is, that he will be pleased to make me 
meet for the kingdom of heaven. The second 
is, that I may retain my reason unto the end ; 
and the third is, that my last days or hours 
may be spent under the care of some Chris- 
tian friends. Oh, if I were only under the 
care of those who worship the Father in 
spirit and in truth, I could then pass in 
cheerful contentment the time, whether longer 
or shorter, during which my existence may 
be prolonged. But the Lord's will be done. 
I will leave all to him, and lie patiently in 
his hands, assured that he will do all things 
well. I wish to be affectionately remembered 

to . You are both very kind to me, 

and though I need every possible facility to 
help me in my onward and upward way, yet, 



108 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

I cannot see how either of you can aid me in 
any other manner than you have already 
done. I would not have you do anything for 
me contrary to the will of God. I desire 
and trust that you will not do anything for 
me, without first making it a subject of 
serious, prayerful consideration, and then all 
will be right. Please give my love to R. C, 
and say to her, that I am still in the furnace, 
which at times seems intolerably hot, and 
that I desire her to make particular prayers 
for me. It is now the 12th of the month ; — 
another year has almost gone, and we are so 
much nearer eternity. Yes, my friend, death 
and eternity seem very near. I feel my soul 
much affected by the thought of seeing the 
beginning of another year. Perhaps it will 
be the last with me, and it may be the last 
with you. Oh, may we live each moment as 
if we were sure it would be so. 

Yours, affectionately, 

W. R. Fales. 

January, 1850. — Another year has now 
passed away. Yes, 1849 is gone, and 1850 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 109 

indeed come. And I have lived to behold 
the dawn of another year! But shall I see 
its close ? If I should, I hope it will prove 
the happiest of my life. Not the happiest 
because of an increase of earthly enjoyments, 
nor because of a decrease in trials and afflic- 
tions, for that would be vain ; but the happi- 
est, from the enjoyment of pure, vital religion. 

Although, in reviewing the past year, I 
find a great deal to call up painful thoughts, 
yet there has been much to excite pleasurable 
emotions, and feelings of gratitude. 

A kind Providence has showered blessings 
upon me with a liberal hand, and my heart 
has been made glad through his abundant 
goodness, for all of which may I ever lift up 
my heart unto God with thanksgiving and 
praise. For though still suffering on a bed 
of languishing, yet the Lord manifests his 
tender care for me in many ways. He 
enables my patience to triumph over my 
pains, and favours me from day to day beyond 
what I can express. But this world is not 
my home. Soon the lamp of life with me 
will cease to burn, and I shall go to that land 
10 



110 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

from which I shall never return. Time is 
hastening on, and death may come at any 
moment. Oh, then, may I wisely improve 
the remnant of my days in a preparation for 
eternity, and be found watching whenever 
the Son of man cometh, remembering the 
injunction, "Be ye also ready." 

Middletown, R. L, January 5th, 1850. 

My dear Friend : 

Having written to you last month, I should 
have waited your answer before writing again; 
but since it is allowed that circumstances 
alter cases, I think that the circumstances 
under which I now write you, afford me 
a good reason for being in so much hurry 
to address you again. But, oh ! how shall 
I begin? or, rather, how shall I proceed? 
In what manner shall I express my long 
pent-up feelings? My heart is so full that 
I do not know what to express first, nor 
how to express it. Oh, this is too much, 
and too good, for poor unworthy me ! I 
think you will understand what I mean by 
saying too much and too good, for doubtless 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. Ill 

you are aware already that I have recently 
met with a change in my situation, and such 
a change as I can fully appreciate. Surely 
the 28th of last month was an eventful day 
to me, for on that day I was removed from 
the Asylum, and though I felt loth to accept 
the kind offer, on account of my entire un- 
worthiness, yet I plainly saw the hand of 
Providence in it, and thought it would he 
wrong to refuse so desirahle a change. My 
friend T. R. H. told me that you had desired 
him to procure a place for me in a private 
family, where I might have things that were 
convenient, and receive proper attention. 
Accordingly, I was removed on the 28th, 
and hore the ride much better than I had 
expected. Surely, my friend, this is "the 
Lord's doing, and marvellous in my eyes." 

I feel my spirit clothed with humility, 
gratitude, and thankfulness to the great 
Author of all good for the blessings he hath 
so graciously bestowed upon me, and more 
especially for this last wonderful display of 
his goodness and tender care. Surely the 
Lord has done great things for me, whereof 



112 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

I am glad. I have had such proofs of his 
faithfulness as has given me cause of humble 
thankfulness and living praise. Oh ! how 
true it is, that "the Lord will provide." I 
am now in a house with three other inmates, 
a widow woman, her daughter, and an aged 
aunt. I have a comfortable room, with win- 
dows looking towards the south and east. I 
have my bed made every day, and my wants 
properly attended to, by the kind widow and 
her amiable daughter. R. C. is a woman 
acquainted with sickness and sorrow, having 
lost a kind husband last July, who had suf- 
fered with a painful disease for above eighteen 
months. She has three daughters, all of 
whom are steady members of the Baptist 
Church. It appears that the mother has also 
chosen that good part which shall not be 
taken away from her, and that her trust is 
stayed on Him whose love is unchanging, and 
who defendeth the cause of the widow. Be 
sure and give my thanks to all those who 
have aided you in the promotion of my com- 
fort. And now, my friend, let us continue 
to look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 113 

our faith, for the counsel and strength which 
can alone enable us to hold out to the end in 
well-doing. May the Lord bless you with 
his choicest blessings, both now and for ever, 
is the sincere desire of your afflicted friend, 
W. R. Fales. 

January 18th, 1850. 

The remarkable Day — The Removal — A Great Change 
— Trials over-ruled for good — A merciful Deliverance 
— The bitter cup sweetened — The Lord my Helper, 

Surely the 28th of last month was a re- 
markable day to me. It proved a very event- 
ful period in my history, for on that day, 
through the kindness of my good friend T. 
R. H., I was removed from the Portsmouth 
Asylum, in which I had resided during the 
last three years and five months. My mind 
was much tried with the prospect of being 
removed, but the day was pleasant, and I 
was enabled to bear the ride much better 
than I had expected, for which I felt humbly 
thankful. On arriving at my new home, a 
distance of about five miles, I was kindly 
received by the good woman who was engaged 
10* 



114 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

to take the charge of me, and from whom I 
have received very kind treatment ever since. 
She continually endeavours to do all in her 
power to render my situation as comfortable 
and agreeable as possible. I find that I have 
met with a favourable change — a desirable 
change — such a change as I had long felt the 
need of. Indeed, my feelings have under- 
gone a great change since I left the poor- 
house. The sufferings and privations which 
I endured for many years before I went 
there, and whilst there ; the hardships I had 
to contend with, and withal the many difficul- 
ties which had hitherto been in the way of 
my spiritual enjoyments, all, all, are truly 
indescribable. Indeed, I think I can fully 
appreciate the value of such a kindness re- 
ceived from my Philadelphia friends. I can- 
not repay them for the benefits which they 
have bestowed upon me, but the Lord is 
abundantly able to repay them for this cha- 
rity, and I trust they will be recompensed at 
the resurrection of the just. They have been 
the instruments in the Lord's hands of pro- 
curing me this good home, — a much better 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 115 

home than I deserve ; for here I have every 
attention paid to my necessities, and can be 
as quiet as I like. I am blessed with plenty 
of good books to read, and everything around 
me is quiet, comfortable, and convenient. I 
am much more commodiously situated now 
than I have ever been before since the begin- 
ning of my sickness, and enjoy a state of 
comfort which I never expected in this life. 
Oh ! how signal and remarkable have been 
the Lord's merciful dealings with me, a poor 
creature not worthy of the least of his mer- 
cies. I have had many proofs of his love 
and faithfulness, and oh! I can never thank 
him enough for his mercy in delivering me 
from the wrongful dealings of the ungodly, 
and bringing me safely to this good home. 
Oh, how changeful my life hath been ! The 
path along which I have journeyed has been 
thus far chequered indeed. Many, many 
great and deep sorrows have I seen, and 
many long and fiery trials have I endured. 
I have long since tasted a sufficiency of the 
bitter cup of life to convince me that there is 
nothing certain here. I am fully aware of 



116 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

the fleeting nature of all earthly things ; and 
although I have now met with a great and 
good change in my condition, yet I live in 
constant expectation of yet another change, 
which will be far more remarkable, and, I 
trust, better than any of the changes which 
hitherto have happened to me. I mean my 
great, my final change ; the change which 
must take place, sooner or later, whenever I 
am called to go through the dark valley of 
the shadow of death, and to pass out of time 
into eternity. It will be a great and solemn 
change indeed. What change could be greater 
than to leave mortality for immortality ? a 
temporal abode in time for an everlasting 
abode in eternity ? For this world is not to 
be my abiding home : I am only placed here 
for a little season, that I may prepare for a 
better state hereafter. And though I have 
now found a good earthly home, yet I am 
seeking another and a still better one above, 
my last and long home, — a home beyond the 
skies — a heavenly home — a peaceful home — 
where the wicked cease from troubling, and 
the weary are at rest. Oh, Lord ! do thou 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 117 

enable me to spend the remainder of my days 
in preparing for that home. Oh, enable me 
to prepare for that last change, and then, 
even should my time of probation be pro- 
longed, and years of suffering be added to 
the number already passed, yet " all the days 
of my appointed time will I wait, until my 
change come." 

It may here be remarked that William had 
not requested a removal from the Almshouse. 
It was a voluntary offer on the part of his 
friends, many of whom, though personally 
unknown to him, were not strangers to his 
peculiar trials. Poverty had inured him to 
hardships, and he looked only to death as a 
relief from his varied sufferings. But He 
who had thus apportioned the bread of ad- 
versity, and given him to drink largely of 
earthly sorrow, was now pleased to change 
the dispensation of his love, while yet 

" Hope's precious pearl in sorrow's cup 
Unmelted at the bottom lay ; 
To shine again, when all drunk up, 
The bitterness should pass away." 



118 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

On this occasion he writes to his friends in 
the following manner : 

TO MY PHILADELPHIA FRIENDS. 

THE POOR CRIPPLE'S GRATITUDE FOR BENEVOLENT ACTS. 

Afflictions protracted and severe have 
brought me to be acquainted with God, and 
to feel grateful to him for all the blessings 
bestowed upon me. Help in time of need, 
and deliverance from temporal troubles, not 
only excites my gratitude to the Lord for his 
goodness, but also to the instruments of his 
mercies. Of late I have been brought under 
renewed obligations to my great Creator and 
Benefactor, for disposing your hearts to con- 
tribute to the wants of his very unworthy 
but poor afflicted creature. And now permit 
me, my dear friends, in addressing you, to 
address directly all who have so kindly and 
generously contributed to my support and 
comfort, and to return to you all my most 
sincere and grateful thanks. I believe it 
will be gratifying to your sympathizing 
minds to know that you have afforded effec- 
tual relief to a poor, tried, and weary suf- 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 119 

ferer. I appreciate your kindness. The 
favour which you have conferred on me was 
just such as I inexpressibly needed. Oh, 
that my gratitude may be equal to my bless- 
ings both to the great Author thereof, and 
to those individuals through whom they have 
been received. I somehow feel so lowly and 
dependent, that it seems to me I have no 
right to the enjoyment of these added com- 
forts and privileges, and I can reconcile it in 
no other way than by the consideration and 
belief that " the earth is the Lord's, and the 
fulness thereof," and therefore it is his right 
to dispose of his blessings unto whom and in 
whatever manner He pleases, and that it is 
indeed through a favourable turn in his pro- 
vidence that this good home has been pro- 
vided for me in the time of my extremity ; 
yes, it is to the Lord I trace the boon of 
this pleasant home with its attendant com- 
forts. *That the Lord bless and reward you 
an hundred-fold in this world, and with ever- 
lasting happiness hereafter, is the desire of 
your deeply indebted friend, 

W. R. Fales. 



120 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

February, 1850. — It is good policy for man 
to provide for the winter of life in the sum- 
mer of his existence. Let him not only 
collect such supplies, or make such provision, 
as are indispensable at the present time, but 
also a sufficiency besides, in case he become 
disabled by sickness, or by adverse fortune. 
But whatever he provideth let him do it 
honestly, and never be selfish or miserly, so 
as to neglect his duty to his fellow-beings. 
Let him learn to live not for himself alone, 
but for the good of mankind. Let him learn 
to contrast his situation with those who are 
worse off than himself, and to sympathize 
with the afflicted. Let him cultivate a bene- 
volent disposition, and " To do good and to 
distribute forget not." Let him kindly re- 
member the poor, and endeavour to multiply 
their comforts, for " Blessed is he that consi- 
dered the poor," and " There is that scatter- 
eth, and yet increaseth." 

In short, let him ever keep in mind and 
practise that great and golden rule, which 
says, "Whatsoever ye would that men should 
do to you, do ye even so to them." 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 121 

February, 1850. — I have lately had a very 
distressing turn of lameness in my left arm, 
which was so painful, that I had but little 
rest day or night. On the afternoon of the 
3d, I was visited by several kind neighbours, 
who expressed much sympathy for me. One 
of them, J. S., said that he felt sorry to see 
me so afflicted, and would gladly do anything 
to relieve me. But I told him I considered 
it good for me to be afflicted in this manner, 
and had no doubt that it would prove all for 
the best in the end, and that, although hard 
to bear, yet I was willing to drink of the 
bitter cup, and undergo whatever the Lord 
was pleased to lay upon me, believing that 
it is in mercy He afflicts us, therefore I 
trusted that I should be relieved from the 
pain which I was then suffering, and a sweet 
release from all my suffering granted me in 
due time. Towards evening the pain in- 
creased, and I had the prospect of another 
sleepless night, but that All-wise Providence, 
who orders all things well, designed it other- 
wise, for the good minister knelt beside my 
11 



122 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

bed, and made a prayer in my behalf, and I 
do believe that prayer was heard and an- 
swered, for in about an hour I became so 
much relieved that I got some refreshing 
sleep in the course of the night, and though 
my arm was weak and sore for many days, 
yet through mercy it gradually regained its 
accustomed strength, so that I can now use 
it as well as I did before the attack. Oh, 
what a great calamity it is to be deprived of 
the use of our arms ! What can we do for 
ourselves without them ? There are so many 
things which we can do much better for our- 
selves than any one can do for us, and we 
require many attentions which it is humili- 
ating to be obliged to receive from others, 
therefore it is a distressing calamity when 
thus made dependent upon others for all we 
need done for our comfort. The fact is, we 
know not the true worth of an arm until we 
have felt the want of it, neither do we know 
how dearly to prize the blessings which sur- 
round us, until we are deprived of them. 
People do not generally consider how much 



MEMORANDUM? AND LETTERS. 123 

they have to be thankful for, though sur- 
rounded by mercies on every side. Since I 
have been lying on a sick-bed, I have been 
made sensible of my own. I perceive that 
as my common mercies occur every hour, just 
so every hour ought to call forth gratitude 
and praise. And though both of my arms 
are poor, distorted, weak things at the best, 
yet I have found them a great deal better 
than none ; for, deformed and clumsy as they 
are, they are a great help and a comfort to 
me, and through mercy I have never been 
deprived of the use of both at once, which I 
think a wonderful favour, and though I have 
much to weigh me down, yet I will not let it 
prevent me from being thankful for the bene- 
fits I still enjoy. It is good for me that I 
have been afflicted, for since I have been in 
the furnace I have learned to look around 
me, and number my mercies, and I have in- 
deed found the Lord to be more gracious to 
me than I had faith to believe. 



124 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

Portsmouth, April 9th, 1850. 

My dear Friend : 

Your truly welcome letter came to hand 
about two weeks ago, and I should have 
written sooner but was obliged to delay my 
answer until now on account of being so un- 
well. My rheumatism has been raging more 
than usual the past month, much of the time 
my arm being so lame that I could not write 
or even feed myself. It has been a trying 
time, indeed, but I have found the Lord's 
promises sure. He has told me that his 
grace is sufficient for me, and I have found 
it so ; for although in his providence he has 
seen fit to lay his chastening hand upon 
me more heavily than usual, yet I still feel 
that He has not forsaken me. He is a 
very present help in every needful time. 
All praise is due to his holy name. I 
doubt not, my friend, you have heard that 
I have now my new bedstead. It is so 
rightly planned and nicely made that it 
suits me exactly. It is of such light mate- 
rials that it only weighs 43 pounds, and is 
so constructed that it can be raised and 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 125 

lowered at pleasure, by feet attached to it so 
as to be folded up underneath when not in 
use. I think I shall derive much satisfaction 
in looking through the window and beholding 
the green fields, trees, vines, and pretty 
birds, and being moved from one room to 
another, but I have been so long accustomed 
to looking at so short a distance as the four 
walls of my room, that it is difficult for me 
to discern objects at a greater distance. I 
hope to be enabled to give you a descrip- 
tion of the scenery around my new home 
when summer comes. We have had a mild 
and very favourable winter, though we are now 
having rather a cold spring. But few birds 
have appeared yet. I listened to the feeble 
song of a lonely robin this morning, but its 
sweet voice was soon silenced by the falling 
snow. Yes, it has been snowing to-day, the 
12th, whilst I am writing with flowers in full 
bloom upon the table. The winter was so 
warm that on the 4th of this month a hardy 
bright yellow lily, nearly in full bloom, and 
another opening bud, with a sprig of box, were 
brought into my room and placed in water, 
11* 



126 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

and in a pot beside them was a bush of deep 
red roses, which most beautifully contrasts 
with the yellow lilies, and withal makes a 
very pleasing appearance. Perhaps you will 
think I am childish in thus giving you such 
a minute account of my flowers, but I am so 
fond of trees, plants, and flowers, that I can- 
not help speaking about them. I look at 
them and love to think of His goodness, who 
was so kind to make them for us to enjoy. 
Nothing affords me greater pleasure than to 
think, hear, and talk of God, his wonderful 
works and heavenly things. Oh ! how great 
and wise is the Lord ; how good and kind he 
is to his creature man. He is the author of 
all good, and the giver of everything we 
enjoy. He sent his Son to save us, who be- 
came poor that we might be rich. He hath 
done great things for me : he came to my 
relief when I was in trouble, and raised me 
up friends to contribute to my necessities, 
and though still doomed to spend my days 
upon a bed of languishing, yet I hope I shall 
never be unmindful of the great Author and 
Bestower of the privileges and blessings which 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 127 

I receive, for I have many more than I de- 
serve. My attendants are very kind ; they 
seem desirous to increase my comforts as 
much as they can, and make my time pass as 
agreeably as possible. 

Now, since you wish to know what reading 
I am engaged in at this time, I may tell you 
that my friend T. R. H. brought me some 
months ago a parcel of papers and periodicals, 
chiefly " The Friend," "Friends' Review," 
and the " Non-Slaveholder," which contain 
much interesting information, and some of 
our neighbours have brought me others, such 
as "The Christian Herald," "Christian 
Times," and a book entitled u Mo Cross, no 
Croivn" and another giving an account of a 
mission to the Nestorians. Thus you see 
that I have a considerable variety of reading. 
I have also a number of good books of my own, 
some of which are so comforting and strength- 
ening that I love to peruse them again and 
again. You cannot conceive how much comfort 
and benefit I derive from that precious little 
volume you sent me of " Religious Poetry." 
I saw an account some time since of a little 



128 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

work published by the American Sunday 
School Union, " Life in Earnest" which, 
from its title and recommendation, seems to 
be an excellent book. Have you ever read 
it ? I should like to procure a few more 
tracts for circulation. If you should have 
an opportunity of sending a package, a few 
Friends' tracts, such as you may think best 
calculated to awaken a religious concern in 
the minds of the people, would be useful. I 
earnestly wish that you may some day see me 
in my new habitation. Please remember me 
to J. W. and his •daughter, also to H. R. 
Do, my friend, write often ! — Time is short, 
eternity near. Let us pray for each other. 
May the Lord continue to be your friend 
and helper. May He grant you faith and 
strength to finish to his glory all the work 
He has given you to do, so that you may 
end your days in peace, and receive the ap- 
probation of " well done' from your gracious 
Master, is the fervent desire of your affec- 
tionate friend, 

William R. Fales. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 129 

April, 1850. — Oh, how shall I render to 
my God a suitable return for all his favours ! 
but though my debt to him is very great, 
yet I can give him that which he requires — 
my whole heart ! Yes, Lord ! I dedicate 
anew my heart to thee, and commit my way 
and my every concern into thy hands, and, 
henceforth, try to live nearer to thee than I 
have done before. For why should I with- 
hold anything from thee, or wander from 
thy commands, when thou art so good and 
kind to me, one of the least, yet most un- 
worthy, of all thy flock. Thou hast been 
far better to me than my fears, and shown 
thyself more gracious than my belief. Thou 
hast supported me under all my burdens, 
and brought me through the deep waters in 
a wonderful manner. It is through thy 
mercy alone, that I have a comfortable 
home, and am so kindly cared for and sup- 
ported, therefore, I ought to praise thee for 
ever, and be thine continually. 

The following essays, " What is our duty?" 
"Be not discouraged," &c, are without date, 



130 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

yet being found amongst the private papers of 
W. R. F. ? and in his own handwriting, they 
are inserted as his adopted sentiments, though 
we cannot feel certain of their authority. 
He may have designed them for publication 
in one of the periodicals for which he had 
felt interested in procuring subscribers. 

As agent for " The American Tract So- 
ciety," his accounts were satisfactorily closed, 
and, in allusion to this and some other duties, 
he says, " I am willing to sacrifice some of 
the comforts of life, for the exalted privilege 
of doing something for Him who has done so 
much for me. There is no one so low, as to 
be unable to do some good, and by doing 
good to others, we are blest ourselves." 

WHAT IS OUR DUTY? 

Every person should live to some purpose, 
to some good purpose. He that lives to no 
good purpose, lives to a bad purpose. For 
no man is so insignificant, that he can be 
sure his example will do no hurt. The great 
question is, how so to live in this world as to 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 131 

enjoy heaven hereafter. There is no other 
path of safety beside the path of duty. It 
is our duty to make the most of our time, 
talents, and opportunities. It is our duty 
to use all the influence in our power to pro- 
mote that which is good, and abolish that 
which is evil. It is our duty to be continu- 
ally asking ourselves how and when can I 
best perform what I owe to the community 
as a citizen, and to the world as one of its 
humble instruments, in carrying on and 
effecting its great and important purposes ? 
and in what way can I best promote the 
general or the special good of those around 
me ? It is our duty to trust in the Lord for 
grace, at all times, and return thanks to him 
for all his mercies. Our motto should ever 
be, — I will try to do my duty to-day, and 
trust God for grace to do it to-morrow. It 
is our duty to be anxious for the best wel- 
fare, and attentive to the happiness, of our 
fellow-creatures. There is no joy like that 
which springs from a right kind action. 
Perform a good deed, speak a kind word, 
and bestow a pleasant smile, and we shall 



132 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

receive an abundant reward. The chief hap- 
piness of mankind consists in making others 
happy, and there is a loveliness in doing 
right. 

BE NOT DISCOURAGED. 

Never be discouraged at disappointment, 
nor because your expectations are not real- 
ized according to your desires. If your 
heart is set upon doing good, the Lord will 
grant success to your labours, in such mea- 
sure as he sees will best answer his purpose 
concerning you. The duties of a life are 
not to be done in a day. Each duty has a 
space of time allotted for its performance, 
together with a precious promise, "My grace 
is sufficient for thee." God takes time to 
work. He is in no hurry ; therefore, be not 
discouraged because of difficulties or seeming 
impossibilities, but go cheerfully forward, 
step by step and moment by moment, always 
bearing in mind the true word of promise, 
that " in due time ye shall reap, if ye faint 
not." 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 133 

Mankind are apt to value themselves upon 
a proficiency in the sciences, but there is one 
science worth more than all the rest, and 
that is the science of living well. There are 
many ways by which we may promote our 
own welfare, and the welfare of our fellow- 
creatures ; but . there is no way by which we 
can do more good to ourselves, or to others, 
than by living a holy life. A man may pos- 
sess great attainments, and arrive at great 
perfection in all the arts, except the art of 
living well, and, by not having learned this, 
he lacks the one thing needful to insure his 
own best interest, and also the most effica- 
cious means of promoting the welfare of his 
fellow-beings. There is no science, no at- 
tainment, that can contribute more to our 
happiness than that of leading a holy life. 
There is a moral omnipotence in holiness. 
Precept and command may be disregarded, 
argument may be resisted, persuasion, en- 
treaty, and warning may be scorned, but the 
exhibition of a holy life has a power that 
nothing can withstand. The seen, but silent 
beauty of holiness is more effectual to re- 
12 



134 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

strain vice, and raise up those that are 
bowed down, than precept, command, argu- 
ment, persuasion, or warning ; for no sophis- 
try can elude it, no conscience can ward it 
off. The beauty of holiness will do more to 
regenerate the world, and bring in everlast- 
ing righteousness, than all other agencies 
put together. Then let us cultivate the 
science of living well, for this is of more 
value than all the rest. This will remain 
when tongues shall cease and knowledge 
vanish away. It is believed that Christi- 
anity itself owes far the greater part of its 
moral power, not to the precepts nor para- 
bles of Christ, but to his own fair and vir- 
tuous example, which is so simply and beau- 
tifully described in the New Testament. 

" To do his Heavenly Father's will, 
Was his employment and delight, 
Whilst love, humility, and holy zeal, 
Shone through his life divinely bright." 

There is a beauty in holiness, which, al- 
though the wicked openly condemn, they can- 
not help secretly admiring. There is a 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 135 

beauty in holiness of such power, that al- 
though the wicked may generally detest and 
oppose it, yet they are frequently forced 
irresistibly to imitate. There is no beauty in 
sin. Sin always looks homely, dark, and 
hateful. Sin has no bright side ; both sides 
are dark. A person may be beautiful in the 
sight of the world, yet, if they are sinful, 
they are homely in the sight of God ; for 
there is nothing homely with God but sin. 
Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of 
sin. What hope can he have beyond the 
grave? What other prospect can he have 
for the future, than a fearful looking for of 
judgment and fiery indignation which are to 
come hereafter ? 

Ungodliness may prosper for a season, but 
the end corrects the mistake, and proves to 
the sinner, in an awful manner, the truth of 
the Scripture declaration, that " The way of 
the transgressor is hard." 



136 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 



TO PUBLISHERS. 

Since the position of publishers is so pro- 
minent, and their responsibilities so great, 
we would suppose that they would earnestly 
endeavour to secure a good moral character. 
For without virtue they cannot be respected, 
and without integrity they cannot rise to 
distinction and honour. But they deceive 
themselves if they think they will have the 
respect of the good and the wise, as long as 
they continue to swell the tide of sin by 
flooding the country with poisonous reading. 
The publishing of bad books is an accursed 
traffic, and they who devote their time to this 
sinful work are the ringleaders of the im- 
moral and profane. Therefore, as long as 
they pursue this erratic course, they cannot 
be entitled to the respect of the wise and the 
good, nor worthy of their trust. 

Howard, the philanthropist, was once seen 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 137 

significantly to button up his coat in the 
neighbourhood of a printing-office, where he 
heard profane language, remarking that he 
always did this, where he heard swearing. 
Any one who can take God's name in vain, 
can also steal, or do anything else bad. 
And they who devote their time to the 
manufacture of such articles as have a direct 
tendency to corrupt the public morals, or fill 
the world with crime and misery, may be 
regarded as enemies to both God and man- 
kind. Yea ! such are the worst sort of 
thieves, for they rob their fellow-creatures 
of their precious time ; they take money for 
that which is good for nothing, for that 
which robs people of their virtue. Pub- 
lishers are most efficient instruments of 
either good or evil. They exert an un- 
bounded influence over those who read their 
works. They make impressions which when 
weighed in the balance of eternal justice will 
decide the scale of condemnation or appro- 
bation. A few corrupt or unadvised words 
fixed on paper, may lay the foundation of 
the eternal woe of thousands. Oh! great 
12* 



138 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

will be the guilt of the conductors of the 
corrupt press. 

May it not be said of any of us, that we 
countenance the circulation of a trashy, pol- 
luting literature, by holding our peace and 
saying nothing against it. Should not every 
Christian, every lover of truth and virtue, be 
diligent in using their efforts to put down 
the corrupt press, and thereby abolish from 
the land this species of vice and immo- 
rality ? 

The way to vice lies down hill ; we move 
swiftly and without stopping to look behind 
us, until we find ourselves in a very dange- 
rous position. To our indescribable horror 
we see that sin perpetuates itself, and 
that its influence is beyond all calculation. 
Reader, stop and examine your ways ; see if 
you are not in the down-hill path which 
leadeth to eternal ruin. Oh ! take heed to 
your ways betimes, and beware of the broad, 
down-hill road. Remember that the path of 
safety is strait and narrow, and leads up- 
ward. 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 139 

Middletown, June 16th, 1850. 

My dear Friend : — 

Yours of the 27th of last month reached 
me two weeks ago, and the day before 
yesterday your package of books arrived 
perfectly safe ; the books and letters were all 
in good order. It was a feast day to my 
soul, and I could but exclaim, "Bless the 
Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me 
bless his holy name !" Oh ! what a glorious, 
kind, and gracious Lord he is ! How clearly 
is seen his watchful and tender care over me. 
I am a poor unworthy creature, and yet how 
merciful the Lord is to me. He has made 
strangers to become as father, mother, bro- 
thers, sisters and friends, and provides me 
with every needful good. Although my suf- 
ferings have been extreme, for the greater 
part of my life, yet the Lord was pleased to 
hear my cry in the day of trouble, and hath 
shown me wonderful loving kindness. He 
has proved himself my unfailing Helper. Oh 
what a precious comforter he is ! Surely 
his mercy endureth for ever ! I sincerely 
hope you will be able to pay me a visit some 



140 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

time soon. Perhaps my desire to see you 
may arise too much from selfishness, but I 
cannot refrain from wishing that you might 
be able to see how much more comfortably I 
am situated than when you saw me at first. 
How grateful should I be ! How undeserv- 
ing of such friends, and to be so tenderly 
cared for as I am. Words cannot express 
the gratitude I feel for all these benefits and 
mercies. The books, tracts, &c, were very 
acceptable to me. I consider them all ex- 
cellent indeed. That is one of the best of 

books, which sent me, "Songs in the 

Night." It is one of the most lovely books 
I ever saw, and admirably adapted to all 
such as are in my circumstances. I shall 
prize it very highly, and thank her for it 
most sincerely. The little book my new 
friend sent me, is a beautiful and comforting 
little book, an excellent and desirable book, 
well calculated to be useful to the troubled 
soul, " Thoughts of Peace." How precious 
is peace ! What is more desirable, or what 
should be more eagerly sought after, than 
true peace? What is more to be prized 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 141 

than that peace which passeth all under- 
standing ? Tell that dear friend I am well 
pleased with her present, and desire her to 
accept a thousand thanks for it. I should 
like to see all those dear friends who have 
been so much interested for me. I love 
them all; there is not one of them but I 
connect some pleasant thought, some pecu- 
liar loveliness with their forms and voices. 
They have greatly endeared themselves to 
me by their kindness. May the blessings of 
Heaven rest upon them, and their liberal 
souls be made fat in the riches of God's 
grace. My bodily sufferings were greater 
than common for the most of last month. 
The rainy weather we had at the time was 
very unfavourable to my disease; many of 
my joints were badly swollen, and extremely 
sore, so that I had much pain throughout my 
whole frame ; but since the warm weather my 
health has been improving a little, and I feel 
thankful for so much relief, that I can now 
take considerable sleep in the night. I sel- 
dom allow myself to sleep in the day-time ; 
I can't afford the time to do so. Time is 



142 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

precious, and swiftly passing away. Dili- 
gently go ahead, onward, and upward in the 
narrow way, should be our motto. I am 
striving to do what I can in the vineyard of 
the Lord, and have been favoured of late 
with some opportunities for doing good. In 
connexion with tract circulation, I have been 
engaged for the last six weeks in making 
efforts to circulate religious books by sale 
and by gift, and have met with considerable 
success therein. Perhaps you will like to 
hear how this has been brought about. Well, 
let me tell you, that some three months 
since I addressed a letter to an agent of 
" The American Tract Society," giving some 
account of my situation, &c, and informing 
him that I had long felt desirous to do some- 
thing for the Lord in the way of book circu- 
lation. Something towards building up the 
good cause. That I was anxious to do all in 
my power to aid in the diffusion of religious 
knowledge, and if the Society would furnish 
me with books to sell, when I could, and to 
give when it was necessary, I was at their 
service, and would gladly try to do what I 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 143 

could towards circulating printed truth. The 
proposal was accepted, a bundle of good 
books and some Christian almanacs was sent 
me, estimated at about $14 00, besides tracts 
and Sabbath Manuals, solely for gratuitous 
circulation. These were accompanied by a 
kind note from the agent, authorizing me to 
sell at the stated prices, or to give, as I 
might think proper, to those who are in need, 
and requesting me to send to him for more 
at any time when I might have occasion. I 
am also trying to obtain subscribers for " The 
American Messenger," and have obtained 
the names of seven. But to make a long 
story short, I will only add, that I have sold 
thirty volumes, granted some, and loaned 
some. D. P. has just dropped in, and 
bought three pretty pocket manuals, two 
of which are entitled Dewdrops, and one 
Heavenly Manna. They are suited to be 
useful for every day in the year. I love to be 
employed in doing good; it affords a pecu- 
liar sweetness to my soul. My valued friend 
T. R. H. calls to see me often. He shows 
me great kindness, and I look upon him as a 



144 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

sort of parent. Some of his land joins our 
meadow only a few rods from this house. 
It is devoted mostly to pasturage. He gene- 
rally keeps a great many sheep, sometimes 
six hundred. It is very amusing to see the 
sportive little lambs gambolling upon the 
rocks before my window. I am now looking 
out at the door, and 'tis pleasant indeed. 
Do come and see me, my dear friend, and 
enjoy for awhile the benefit of our invigora- 
ting and healthful climate. 

June 26th. — As I do not see how I shall 
have an opportunity of sending my letter 
into town for several days, I will inform you 
that since my last I have had some news 
from the Asylum. Poor old Joseph, I un- 
derstand, has had fits, and was laid upon the 
bed in the same little room which I used to 
occupy. He had two slight fits whilst I was 
there. Poor old man, his privations are 
many and sore indeed ; may the Lord be his 
helper. He is forsaken in old age, and left 
poor, blind, and friendless in a cold and un- 
feeling world, with no one to look to for 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 145 

comfort, nor to cheer him whilst groping on 
his way in darkness ; in short, with no man 
to care for his soul. I often think of him, 
and wish it were in my power to minister to 
his necessities. Oh, what a dreadful calamity 
it is to be blind ! Let us be thankful for 
our eyesight, and pray that those who are 
deprived of it may be enabled to reach that 
better country where they, and all that are 
there will " see as they are seen," and behold 
the beautiful paradise of God for evermore. 
I have had the headache so bad for four days 
past, that I can hardly see to guide my 
pencil. I have a great deal more to say to 
you which I cannot write now. E. is just 
starting for town, and I must seal my letter, 
as I wish to send it by her. Peace be with 
you I 

Your affectionate friend, 

W. R. Fales. 

This letter brings to a conclusion the 

memorandums of William R. Fales. It is, 

probably, one of the last efforts of his feeble 

pencil, the headache to which he alludes 

13 



146 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

being the precursor of an illness which, in 
about two weeks, terminated his earthly suf- 
ferings. T. R. H. saw him on the 31st, and 
finding him indisposed, sent for a physician. 
In less than a week his situation became cri- 
tical, a drowsiness coming on, with other alarm- 
ing symptoms ; and he was for several days 
unconscious of what was passing around him : 
at which time, 7 mo. 7th, his friend T. R. H. 
writes, "William still continues very ill. I 
sat up with him last night, and thought him 
failing very fast. The doctor thinks that 
forty-eight hours will determine the event of 
the disease. It is extremely doubtful if he 
recover, but it is a satisfaction to know that 
he has the best of medical advice, and that 
his nurses are indefatigable in their care and 
attention. If he dies, I think it will be a 
happy exchange for him. His sufferings on 
earth have been great, his faith strong, and 
his love of heavenly things sincere, and I 
believe that a recompense will not be with- 
held by his Heavenly Father." 

After his death T. R. H. again writes, — 
" Wm. R. Fales died on the morning of the 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 147 

14th inst., about a quarter before 10 o'clock. 
Much of the two weeks previous to his de- 
parture he lay in a stupor, his mind at times 
wandering, though at intervals entirely sen- 
sible, during which periods he appeared to 
be resigned to die, and was frequently en- 
gaged in prayer. Upon one occasion, he 
told me that the Lord had wonderfully sus- 
tained him. He was then very low, and 
lamented to me the irritability of his nature, 
saying, that ' it was required of the Lord's 
children to be pure in heart, and that was a 
great thing to attain unto.' He continued 
awhile in this strain, at which time a Baptist 
Minister of the neighbourhood and myself 
were present, and both remarked to him that 
we did not think the nervous irritability 
caused by his suffering would be imputed to 
him as sin, which only became heinous in 
the Divine sight when it was presumptuous. 
In a day or two afterwards he told me, in 
much simplicity, that things had changed 
with him ; and that the Lord had comforted 
him. His language seemed as if applied to 
some earthly person, rather than to the Al- 



148 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

mighty, and thinking I might be^mistaken, or 
misunderstand him, I remarked, ' You mean 
the minister has been with you again?' at 
which his countenance lit up with an expres- 
sion between a smile and that of surprise, and 
he replied, ' No ; it was the Lord /' 

" About an hour before his decease he was 
engaged in audible, fervent prayer, and his 
close was apparently without pain, dying (as 
his nurse expressed it) upwardly, his breath 
growing shorter and shorter, until the spirit 
left. His remains were decently interred in 
Friends' burial-ground at Newport.. Some 
forty persons collected at the house on the 
occasion, and he was followed to the grave by 
M. H. B. and wife, M. W., G. B., and myself. 
I think there is no cause to regret his death, 
believing that he is removed from a world of 
trouble and suffering, to eternal peace with 
his Father in heaven." 

Another correspondent, alluding to his 
departure, says, — 

" I attended the funeral of W. R. Fales, at 
•which time our friend, M. H. B., rehearsed 
the Scripture passage, ' The rich man died 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 149 

and was buried ; the poor man also died, and 
was carried by angels to rest in Abraham's 
bosom,' very feelingly alluding to the evi- 
dences of faith which he had heard from the 
lips of the deceased. The neighbours gazed 
with interest on his lifeless remains. His 
countenance was interesting, very youthful 
and tranquil. There was none of that rigi- 
dity of the muscles which formerly told so 
plainly the story of his sufferings. His 
Heavenly Father had seen meet to remove 
him from a state of uncommon suffering to 
rejoice in the realms of bliss ; and happy for 
him that he has been thus spared a long and 
painful illness, in addition to the protracted 
disease which, through the influence of divine 
grace, had disciplined and prepared his chas- 
tened spirit for an inheritance so glorious." 
Such is the acknowledgment of one who had 
seen him amid the comforts and privileges of 
his new home, and here follows the testimony 
of his faithful attendants, R. C. and daugh- 
ter ; they who had been with him in hours of 
suffering, and nursed him during the last 
seven months of his earthly sojourn. In 



150 MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 

a joint letter, dated 9 mo. 14th, 1850, they 
say,— 

" During the time that W. R. Fales lived 
with us, the great aim of his life seemed to 
be, to do good, and the salvation of souls was 
ever on his mind. Religion was his theme 
to all. It was the last subject upon retiring 
to rest, and the first when entering his room 
in the morning. He appeared to have a true 
sense of what a Christian ought to be, and 
seemed concerned for his future welfare. His 
Heavenly Father's goodness unto him, he 
used to say, was very great, and his own 
unworthiness he would speak of with deep 
humility. If he ever uttered what he thought 
a word of complaint, he would acknowledge 
it with sorrow, and pray for patience and 
support unto the end, which was granted 
him. We would hear him sometimes in the 
long watches of the night (when he could not 
sleep), repeating a hymn, or in audible com- 
munion with his God. The last words he 
uttered were in prayer, a short time before 
he closed his eyes in death." 

It is to be regretted that we have no 



MEMORANDUMS AND LETTERS. 151 

record of those last words which trembled on 
his dying lips; yet, we trust, sufficient evi- 
dence has been furnished that, through redeem- 
ing mercy, his suffering spirit was prepared 
to join " the multitude which no man could 
number, clothed with white robes, and palms 
in their hands," of whom it hath been said, 

" These are they which came out of great 
tribulatior, and have washed their robes, and 
made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 

" Therefore are they before the throne of 
God, and serve him day and night in his 
temple : and he that sitteth on the throne 
shall dwell among them. 

" They shall hunger no more, neither 
thirst any more ; neither shall the sun light 
on them, nor any heat. 

" For the Lamb, which is in the midst of 
the throne, shall feed them, and shall lead 
them unto living fountains of waters ; and 
God shall wipe away all tears from their 
eyes." — (Rev. vii. 14-17.) 

THE END. 






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